Angry with God...
I used to be so, so angry with God. And I wasn't even sure who God was...but I was really angry with him for most of my life. I felt that my life was so crazy and stupid and I really wasn't having very much fun for most of all of my life...so someone must be to blame for this. It certainly wasn't me...I was trying to make life work so much...I was efforting so much...I was trying to do all of the right things...and I was still basically very unhappy most of the time for most of my life. So...I was blameless...it must be God that was causing all of my unhappiness! Ya...that was it. So I will just blame Him....He's big enough to take it! So I would blame God for everthing!...and that did console me a bit...but I was still miserable..I was also very needy...and just hoped others would love me. Of course I put on a great front and appeared to be happy to others...(don't so many of us do this?) One of the turninng points happened about 2 and a half years ago when my wife died. I went into some very deep grieving...and in the middle of this grief...I felt a kind of sweetness that i never felt before. And then soon after I remember looking at other people...even strangers....and felt very loving towards them...even more loving to them then people I was really close to. Gosh! So, I just kept doing this...and slowing, God was added to those I would love. And...in this process, how I felt about myself was definitely changing...I was much easier on myself. All of the negative thoughts about myself appeared to be fading. So now...it is like life is running itself...or God is running it or something like that. I do feel so, so, blessed! God and I are best friends now. When I think of God, it brings a warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. And when I think of you, it brings a warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. Could there be a connection? And I really do love everone...and have a great respect and honoring of people who are unhappy, stuck, in pain of all kinds. All of these people are in my heart...they live there...arnd I love them. Loving you always, Jim and Jimi.
You’ve become a
You’ve become a lighthouse, Jim.
Your light now shines bright for all to see.
Thanks to you sharing your transformation from the ‘darker’ years, to the ‘lighter’ years, many who feel being in a similar situation as yours, will find the encouragement and hope for change in their lives.
You have not only re-discovered Love, but also gained a great deal of Compassion through the process that you have gone through. You know what others experience and can be of assistance when asked.
It is a privilege to know you here!
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for the Love that you spread through the different threads here. Thank you for being who you are and for being here!
Namaste,
Xenia
Thank you Xenia for your
Thank you Xenia for your loving and kind words and your beautiful presence on this web site!...and everywhere else too! I never want to forget those "dark years". Cause...really...there are so, so many people in various shades and textures of darkness. I feel some words coming with this one...it is really an important topic so I will do a separate post on it. Thank you for your "cue" for this so to speak. And...it is an honor and privilege for me to know you here...too! Loving you! Jim and Jimi.
Each Country of the world is like a sacred prayer bead...held lightly and lovingly...
Dearest Jim and Jimi, thank
Dearest Jim and Jimi,
thank you for sharing this most important experience and transformation. I thank God for the love and light He showers on you, and I thank you dear Angel, for opening your heart to God and for sharing all the infinite blissful light and love that you are and express in each moment. I think that we are all here for travelling from some kind of darkness to God's divine light and that many many people can indeed find help in you sharing and be uplifted and find new hope. Although my life experiences are different from what you share so gently with us, many things do resonate within my heart and that is God revealing His love and light and blessings to us. Our hearts open and so do our eyes, for once we were blind, but now we begin to see God's Glory all around us.
I love your heart and who you are and how you express God, and I thank God for the divine blessing you are to all of us. All that you post and share brings me directly admidst the divine sun of love, to God.
God bless you dear Jim and Jimi, thank you for being here !!!!!!!!
With Love and Gratitude
Berit