Nancy O. to God:

Thank You, God, for your cascading answer to me November 2. I like to ask also and am glad for this clarification. Yes, love is. And I see now what You mean about letting my own love within express.

I knew when I met my husband that I loved him and I still do and yet, he has behaved so badly to me and still does. I know in Your way, I love him, but in the ways of the world, I despise him and want to stay away from him to prevent him from hurting me more.

Yet at the same time I feel that I cannot solve the barriers to our love if we do not interact. Certainly, it used to be attraction, but now I think it is beyond that. I do care for him, but never want to be at the mercy of his personality. Maybe it doesn't matter if we work out a peace between us. Maybe it just matters if I come to terms with my feelings about him in own heart and the limits I will allow another person to disturb me. Is that it?

I am fortunate in my life to have had many loving friends, just not the intimate love of a life partner. I know that is not for all of us, but our society makes us believe we are less without it. And that is where the social norms come in.

You are helping me to be more loving, to think of loving. Thank You for showing me the way.

God to Nancy O.:

Love your former husband from afar. You do not have to work out your relationship with him in the relative world. Indeed, you cannot. Work it out with Me. And you do that by letting go of him. And that means thinking about him and what might have been and what might yet be only if…

My dear Nancy, you are holding on to a past dream. My daughters do that. They hold on to former loves. It is not your former husband at all. It is your dream that he represented. Hand your former husband over to Me. That is how you resolve the relationship. Let him go. Let your thoughts of him go. It wasn't so wonderful being with him. Your dream was wonderful. A simple man was pasted onto your dream. You looked for someone to cast in the role to play the lead opposite you, and it didn't work out.

You are aware that no one has to fill that role. Indeed, it is not possible for someone to fill that role. You can only imagine it, dear Nancy. That role is the equivalent of a daydream.

When you can let go of roles, a Human man may appear, and your relationship can be what it is and not have to live up to a dream, and the actuality may be more wonderful than the dream you made up.

Yes, society plays a big role in this.

Society tells you to expect things. It even tells you that relationships have to be worked out.

And it ties your worth up in all that it expects for you and from you.

But you cannot fulfill the world's dreams either. Better not try. The perfect man does not exist. The ideal relationship does not exist. The ideal relationship in your mind is created out of expectations. Expectation is control. And so My children are controlled by their society, or they rebel against it. Some rebel against it.

But, fortunately, there is a way to live in the world and follow My lead. To do so, there is much that must be left behind you.

Kerry leaves her attachment to physical mementoes of the past by the wayside, little by little.

And now you and Gloria and everyone else will do well to leave your wayward past dreams behind and your expectations of the future behind as well. Keeping one foot in the past and one in the future does not give you much of the present. You have only two feet. Jump with them right now into the present.

The present has an energy that sustains. It strengthens. It doesn't pull you back. It doesn't pull you apart. It doesn't push you ahead. It energizes you. Wait no longer for the future to catch up to past dreams. Be awake now. Waking or sleeping, be awake to Now for Now is where I am and where you find Me.

Picture yourself waving goodbye to your former husband. Let him walk away and you turn away and step right into My light with Me. And stay here with Me. Why not?

Nancy, no one has to disturb you at all.

It is you who gets disturbed after all.

The limit to set is that you see things as they are. Set no limits or expectations on another, and take nothing personally. You are not more nor less dependent on anyone's greatness than you are on anyone's foolishness. Kiss goodbye all past hurts and any future ones because you do not have to have them. We are not talking pretense of not being hurt. We are talking about the inception of hurt, and that is somewhere in your mind.

If someone bumps into you rudely, you would be annoyed. When you discover that the person who bumped into you is blind, your annoyance vanishes. That is all that happens in the world. Blind people bump into you. You do not have to empower them with the ability to disturb your peace and your love.

You also do not have to expect that you will never encounter hurtful experiences. Your aim in life is not to avoid. Your aim in life is to be with Me.

Your next question?