Lauren to God:

My question is about my helping people without taking on their stuff. I am helping a couple of people at work with their job search. Out placement is part of my role, and it's also my pleasure to help these nice people. They need support; they don't know how good and qualified they really are. I'm really happy to help but I don't want to take on their burden. I guess I already am.

God to Lauren:

Give the help but don't take on the responsibility. You take on too much responsibility. Mentally turn these nice people over to Me, Lauren. Here you have a resource such as Myself, and you don't use Me enough. You try to do too much on your own.

You are still putting others' needs ahead of your own. Consider yourself a person and give yourself more attention. Sometimes My children overhelp others so they don't have to think about themselves. Give yourself at least equal time.

You want to keep your energy intact. Do not give so much of yourself away. You don't owe them, My dear. Make reference to Me with these people you share yourself with. They need to be reminded of My existence. Reminded of My existence, they will not need so much from you. It is hard for you to mention My name, but you can be casual about it. You can say, at the end, "Don't forget to ask God for help!"

Another thing you might do is structure meetings with these people. You do not have to be so available. Have them make an appointment. You don't have to be there for them every time they want you to. Set some limits, dear Lauren. Consider yourself as an administrative assistant to the Director of Human Resources, and be considerate of that director. Give her a buffer. Make her important. Others are not more important than you. You do not need to spend so much of yourself, no matter how nice the other people are and no matter how much you want to help. You do not have to indulge in helping others so much.

You may want to make out a worksheet for these people. Give them assignments and things to check off. Let them see this process more as their helping themselves rather than leaning on you. Be more businesslike.

Lauren:

Dear God, my next question is sort of the opposite, and yet sort of the same. In my first question, I was asking about really sweet people that I want to give to and yet don't want to take on too much of their stuff.

Now I would like to ask you about people whose stuff I don't want at all. Like there's someone at work who doesn't mind his own business and who criticizes me and what I'm doing. He certainly has no clue of my responsibilities and he has no authority over me. I don't like how this person talks to me, and yet I seem to always be caught off guard, and my response is so wimpy, God. I am an idiot. I don't want to spend my life thinking of how resentful I feel and what I should have said.

I am realizing that deflecting negativity from other people is something I have to learn. For some people it's more natural. Unlike me, they know how to get their point across, and they speak up at the time and feel good after rather than resentful. I am reading a book that I think will help me in this.

God to Lauren:

My dear child, it is not so much that you don't know what to say. It's that you swallow what you have to say because you think you have to be polite. From this day on, remember that I, God, have given you permission to say what you think without censorship. Say what is at the tip of your tongue to say. From now on Lauren says what she thinks because Lauren follows the Will of God.

That you ask this question says to Me that you are ready to break the inhibiting boundaries you have put on yourself. This book you mention will help you. Knowing that you are entitled to say what you feel will help you the most.

I shall be watching over your shoulder and helping you. I do know how much you do and how well you do it, and I wonder why this gentleman has time to bug you and feels he needs to prey on your sweetness.

* * *

Kerry to Heavenletters:

The house is coming along very quickly, and I am still a bit of a human mess, but getting so much better when I remember I am never alone!

Joyce M. to Heavenletters:

I was just re-reading the September 17 Heavenletter, and it is truly great. How beautiful it is to face our fears and see that they are nothing! I am very happy for you. I like where God says, "You are not less, regardless of what happens." Don't we always forget that? There you are, as God says, "…in just being, being in pure love."

Thank you again.