How to Be a Friend
When a situation is difficult for you, you may tend to see it as a threat, beloveds. Let's get down to brass tacks. You make a judgment. Your mind says: "This situation is not right. It should not be. My friend, my husband, my wife, did not do the right thing. He or she should not have said this or that, should not have done this or that because it is an affront to me and whatever I may call holy."
When you judge a situation and find it lacking, you naturally take a strong stand. It is not necessary for you to take a strong stand. It is not necessary for you to take a stand at all. Bless your friend, husband, wife, to his or her chosen life. Bless each even to his mistakes.
You do not want to be responsible for another's happiness nor unhappiness. You would not accept that responsibility. And yet you would be a decider of what someone else should or should not do. You would be a decider of what another should have done or not done.
And, so, beloveds, it is now for you to rise higher. When your beautiful heart is hurt, you have limited your reactions. You have not risen high enough. It is not worthy of you to take offense. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to look at what you presently see as an offense in a different way. It is yourself you are raising higher. It is your life We are talking about, not another's. It is what you do that We are talking about, not what someone else has done.
All right, let's talk a moment about what someone else has done. He or she made a choice in life. Let Us say she chose a course of events, of course, feeling that it was the best or feeling she had no choice. She may have thrown common sense to the winds, but she merely did what you also do and that is to follow your strong inner drive. Perhaps she was more impulsive than you, yet the course she took was her choice to make. Now it is your choice how to deal with it. For that, you rise above.
Surprise yourself, beloved. React in a different way. Without judgment, you naturally will.
It is like this: When you are in a field of daisies, you do not say, "These should not be daisies. These should be daffodils." They are already daisies. You can protest the daisies in the field all you want, yet what does your protesting do but make you and the daisies unhappy? Better to say, "I may not have wanted these daisies, but daisies they are. Therefore, I will enjoy the daisies. Daisies were not my choice, but what is there to gain by bemoaning the fact that the daisies are not the daffodils I would have wanted? Therefore, I shall be a good sport. I will wish the daisies well. I am glad there are flowers here in this field. I am glad they grow."
And it is like this that you will bless the decisions others make whether you like them or not. Whether you like them or not, more important than their decisions, more important than your sticking up for what you believe is right, it is more important that you continue to love your friend and that you look beyond decisions made. Your friend may not have been the friend you wanted him to be. Can you not be the friend you want to be?
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