"It takes a lot of energy to keep yourself down."

This statement has a bomb effect.

God is not waiting for me because God does not know time nor live in time. But, at the same "time", the extension of His Kingdom is blocked while I am waiting to return to Him. Earthly time is equal to delay. God does not know what delay is but it can be painful to me. I try to remain in time because I believe that is where I am. But time is energy consuming. I am fighting against a windmill when I try to resist, when I try to keep me down, afraid to fly.

Two voices speak to me. God's voice and the applied self's voice. They present simultaneously two interpretations of the same Reality: the only One that is a Fact, and the other one that I invented and that I decided to believe in, as long as possible.

But too often , the applied self speaks first...

As a Heavenreader, I find myself more and more puzzled recently. I have read this Heavenletter several times very slowly to make sure I understand everything in terms of semantics. I think I do. And yet I don't have a clue as to what it is saying. I'm even more clueless about how to act on it. My honeymoon with Heavenletters, lasting three years, is clearly over, and the question of where this engagement ist getting me becomes a pressing one. It may be the wrong question, but I can't help asking it, finding myself on square one or even further back again and again. I won't go into what that feels like, but the fact is that I don't see any real progress, which could mean that Heavenletters are not helping me or that my attitude is not allowing them to help me.

Should the latter be true (which, of course, I hope it is), then perhaps the secret is in how I read a Heavenletter. Perhaps the mistake is in trying to "get it". For instance, if I find that "just let go of the past" or "just allow the love that you are" is driving me insane because I don't for the life of me know how to follow these invitations, could it be I'm wrong in assuming I'm required to do something and be able to do it? Feeling unable to understand and unable to act on what I don't unerstand contains the deepest sense of doom that I know. So if the concept of having to be able to is misconceived, perhaps reading a Heavenletter (at least in my case) should be done without anything in mind, without conclusions, without expectations, whithout anything at all. But that would mean that Heavenletters aren't a message in the usual sense of the word. I have started suspecting as much. Heavenletters are pure energy and theire influence is a purely energetic one. Understanding is nice but optional. Exposing yourself to their vibration is the whole secret and all that ever needs to be done. At the very end of my rope, this is the only solution I am able to envision.

Jim's most recent comment guides me to Heaven #1664 where I find what feels like confirmation of sorts.

There is a sweep of love across the universe, and you are trying to reach it. Sometimes you fly. Sometimes you crawl, but everyday, a new rung in the ladder is climbed. You are further along today than you were yesterday. And all of this is to discover Being. It is a great discovery.

I don't know of any "sweep of love", but maybe that's not the point. Maybe the point is to just take in the words and long for their truth without, as Heavenletters are prone to say, "having to have it".

What is energy but love? Even anger is compressed love. Reveal love as it is, nice easy quiet energy, supporting the universe and the heart of the weeping world.

Again, even if I don't know what to do with "Reveal love as it is", it's not too difficult to somehow sense the reality of "nice easy quiet energy, supporting the universe and the heart of the weeping world."

Thank you, Berit and Jim. Your names, by the way, are associated with "innocence" (among other things) in my heart. Innocence may be what I wanted to speak about in this comment. How to read a Heavenletter innocently – without assuming I understand, without needing to understand. I know there are Heavenletters that address this. The difficulty is in urgently needing a solution…

For the most part I do not feel divided between 2 identities since I've joined with my One Self. The other one (ego) did not survive it's earthly life.
I've only just begun to learn how to fly. Every moment is exciting as I discover who I really am.

This is the quote I liked:

Let the you that you have repressed come out of hiding, and be the irrepressible happiness you are.

I recently adopted a pet dwarf rabbit and I just luv the energy she demonstrates and brings into my life. She is a joy to watch especially when she's playfully scurrying around in irrepressible happiness! (smile)

LIGHT Blessings of LOVE,
Johanne

Returning home from the dentist, I can only say, Wow, what a gang of friends! Really, its so nice to have echoes all around, whether you clearly hear and understand everything or not. I will hardly be able to do your wonderful comments justice, it's simply too much I would have to write.

What I like most is that everyone is so circumspect and gentle in their responses. In human communication, I like question marks much better than exclamation marks, listening much better than statements or teachings, suggestions much better than advice – and your comments fit these preferences beautifully.

Gary, you seem to like the ancient and recent philosophy and world-view of non-duality as much as I do. For several reasons it's not something I can adopt, but I still like it.

"...unknowingly leaving the door open for true knowing" is so very well put, Johanne. It's as if God has to catch us unawares. You say that it happened when you let everything go and allowed. Is this done, is it chosen or does it simply happen at some point? Because, you see, if it is decided upon and done, we are back with requirements and to-dos and have-tos. We are back at the juncture where you are either able or, tough luck, unable to make the right choice and move forward. Same with "Just walk into it..." I'm only trying to say that until you suddenly find yourself walking, you may not even know what walking into it means. And the all-important question is: Is there some doing, some practice, some choice? If so, what is it like? If not, what is there to do but to wait until the timer goes off (as one HL has it)?

It's truly "an impossible learning situation", Normand, and yes, having no "sense of competence" is absolutely depressing, I can attest to that. I think you are hitting the nail on its head as far as I am concerned. Although I feel competent in some areas of life where I have been working and learning under my own steam, it seems I have never developed that fundamental sense of competence that allows one to feel confident. Which is why "I can't" became the refrain of my life, remaining unconscious for many years but becoming painfully obvious with Heavenletters.

But after that, even with your perceptive words, I get into that old maelstrom of paradoxes and contradictions again. "...we need help. We cannot get out of our imagined self by our own efforts. We have to let the healing spirit in our distorted mind." If, as you are saying, we can do nothing, then who is doing that letting the healing spirit in and how is it done? Again, if we can do nothing, who is doing that "reversing our thinking process"? How is it done? Can I help with it? Who is fueling my thinking process with joy, how does it come about, where is that tank of joy?

Our thinking seems to be circular or contradictory much of the time. The reason for this may be that really there is nothing that needs to be done while on the other hand we are thoroughly conditioned doers, responding to a wide range of stimuli with an automatic "How's it done?" Perhaps intending is the only thing we need to "do". I do not believe that we can do nothing. There is something Heaven places squarely in our hands. Expecting miracles, perhaps.

Now I suggest that you anticipate miracles, beloveds. Why aren’t your antennae already attuned to pick up miracles at close and far range? Why aren’t you looking for miracles right and left?

http://www.heavenletters.org/the-natural-unwinding-of-life-on-earth.html

And Theophil, the only one I have met in person, a warm thank you to you as well for your words of kindness and consideration. But again, there seems to be no escaping it: If there is nothing to accomplish, then how does willingness come about? Is it not accomplished? Is it given? Do you either have it or, tough luck again, not have it?

But the "fine line" you are speaking about is most important and very dear to me. I wish we would all meet on this side of it where there is silence or gentle probing and nothing so surely known.