When a Loved One Leaves
If you have an ache in your heart, you put it there. No longer kid yourself that an ache in your heart came from anywhere but from you.
Yes, of course, outside events may well trigger your acceptance of pain, yet it is you who says the pain is acceptable or inevitable or that you are the brave hero of it.
Yes, I understand that there are blows in the world. If the blows were indeed physical, you would get up from them faster than you do from emotional ones. There is a tendency to think that you are at the mercy of heartache. Throw off the yoke of the idea that you have to have an aching heart. Your heart can be whatever you choose it to be. You are not bound to suffer because of x, y, or z.
The true you is not so vulnerable as you make yourself out to be. It is not honorable to writhe in pain, beloveds. You do not have to have heartbreak. It is not a requirement in life.
And I do not mean that you must keep heartache to yourself, hidden from others. No, I mean you do not have to have it, nor have it for as long as you do. You simply do not have to keep it, dear ones.
Whatever befalls, you can get up. If an arrow wounded you, pluck out the arrow. This does not mean you are heartless. It means you get up and keep moving forward. Do not fight so much against the seeming cause of your heartache, and you will anguish less.
When a loved one leaves, it doesn’t matter what the presumed cause is. You fight death as a betrayal. You dispute death and other matters as if they have no right to be, as if they are opponents. You argue with them. You protest the same way you debate when your football team loses a game. Again We see your belief in loss. You feel something was grabbed from you, and that it should not have happened. Beloveds, if it happened, it happened. You might as well accept it and move on.
You may feel abandoned. I understand, yet you have to abandon the feeling of abandonment.
Events in life are not always to your liking. I understand, yet, beloveds, who is it who said they have to be? By virtue of living as a Human Being, you do not always get your way. It is nothing personal to you. It is not for you to take personally. It’s not about you at all. It is not your doing. It is not your say. You cannot know nor decide the moment of anyone’s so-called death, for example. You cannot hold any person to your preferences. If a loved one chooses to love another, it is not your say. Blow a kiss goodbye and wish them well. You cannot cage the bird of love. Your will is not always done, and yet you can will that you let go of suffering. You do not need to be a harborer of it.
Do not object so much to what befalls in life. Have the idea that you don’t have to. It is really not your right, and it can’t be called a privilege. When heartache comes, let it go. Do not keep it as a trophy. Make no shrine to suffering, beloveds.
Hasn’t there been enough?
Love with a full heart. Love from wherever you are and wherever another is. Do not hold pain of loss to you. Your pain changes nothing. Lie down on your bed and cry, and then get up from your bed of tears. Do not linger.
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