This will be a good day, Sunday, for some serious training. Didn't sleep well (moon), feel a little groggy, have to work hard to meet a deadline. I bought the standard interpretation that this is difficult and undesirable. How stupid. How stupid to put yourself at the mercy of circumstances when free and at ease is what you think you want to be. You bought explanations that congealed into standards you insist the world must meet or you will punish it with dissatisfaction. Is there something more silly? Now you find it's you who gets punished all the time by your own dissatisfaction, and you don't know how to stop it after so many years of habituation.

Perhaps think less. I'm finding that this is the solution. Obviously, most of what I think is wrong anyway or I would have the life I want to have. If a substantial part of our thinking were accurate, how could there be such madness in the world? Because of them?

Why is it that what is right here right now isn't what you want? Yes, my God, why? I thought I knew the reasons and now it turns out I never did. I only parroted ancient hearsay, giving it some personal aroma to make it "my own". With all my imagined individuality and independence of thinking, what a mass product I am.

Perhaps this is the day to allow yourself happiness. What is to prevent it but some thought of yours? Yes, give me a hand, let's pull that plug and have those dissatisfaction thoughts gurgle out of here. Everyone, do you still believe there are objective reasons for dissatisfaction? Well, I do. And I want that belief to go.

dear heavenley father,
in this morning i play the music floutt,
it my pavoret music like i can see you play for me,
and cklosser to you,, and love you very much,
befor my day begein i put my tought to you, befor my work,
i give also my time to join you of my thought,
but sometimes i dont feel happy, because am not
coplate yet of my happeneiss, because i want my dother,
to be happy to, i have my young dother hers life she wish
to fulfil hers happyness of life, i am conected for her hers felling,
i know, you understan me how i feel an i express to you my felling
her i can not hide enymore i want to fullfel my happynes,
and i wish to all my dother be happy thers life,
of this moment when am writteng am listen your music
whith love,,

I find myself coming back to this Letter again and again whenever I have a few minutes. Everything looks so amazingly simple, even easy, on this strenuous day.

Dear Jochen and dear Emilia, I like both of your today's posting (as I always do). I love Jochen's accurate expression of "punishing the world with dissatisfaction". Isn't what we do when we are children and adults and what we call "to sulk"? And Emilia, isn't rebellion another way of expressing dissatisfaction? And after all, is not "believing" also expressing dissatisfaction upon this world or even upon our own world?

And why do we feel we have to be dissatisfied? Because the world is not like we want it to be? That is superficially true. Dissatisfaction is an emotional and mental state that arise when we feel we have nothing to do with the source of that dissatisfaction. So is belief.

It seems easier to believe, be dissatisfied than to be aware and ACCEPT that awareness. Dissatisfaction and belief don't require any commitment. It is a passive look at reality. Awareness is much more difficult to accept and practice because you have to transform your dissatisfaction and belief into creating the reality you want.

I have to use the same quote as Jochen:

«Why is it that what is right here right now isn't what you want? Are you always looking for something else other than what you have right now?»

That is the most compelling statement about the reality and non reality of time and space. We are learning timelessness and spacelessness in a "timely and spatially" earthly manner. Is it not what God means by seeing Heaven on Earth?

And this statement of God is echoing another previous one which I paraphrase : It is from yourself that you feel dissatisfied, it is against yourself that you rebel, it is in yourself that you don't want to believe_from your imagined self.

To love IS, is to surrender to the holy instant of now as all you have to play with. In fact the Now is the whole play on the world stage. We watch our selves in a cosmic mystic memory and often wonder why the scene changes when we are in the middle of a line, then we remember that this a rehearsal of some sort. Come to think; it's a dress rehearsal.

Oh, to be happy! Why is happiness always going to happen, or should have happened before my inner questions threw me out of the old window again. Perhaps I'll tell myself a different story. This story is not what I thought or thought I thought it should be. I think my thoughts spoiled the day before I got to live it.

I know what I'll do. Read this Heaven Letter another time or two.

George