HEAVEN #1818 Your Heart and Your Words October 27, 2005
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* Peace on Earth *
God is always bringing us closer to Him.
HEAVEN #1818 Your Heart and Your Words October 27, 2005
God said:
What you say and what you feel are meant to be the same. There is not to be a dichotomy between your heart and your words. Above all, you do not want to kid yourself.
Now, I am not speaking of the common courtesies and greetings in life. When someone asks you how you are, you don't have to recite a long list of complaints in order to be honest.
I am not advocating rudeness. If your friend has you over for a meal and serves it to you, this is not the time to say you don't like onions.
Know how important one word is from you. Know the power of your words. Know the power of what you say. Know that there are matters to overlook, but not always.
When you are discussing matters of the heart or of business, be aboveboard. It is so simple to be honest. It is pretense that is hard. It is not necessary to swallow your feelings or keep them hidden for fear of alienating or offending or not getting the result you would like. When you have not been honest with your heart, you have belied it. Any gain from misrepresentation is ill-gotten.
You do not have to be what you think the other person wants you to be. Saying what is untrue is a liability for you and the other. Both giver and receiver appreciate honesty. It is putting your cards on the table. Not putting your cards on the table is subterfuge.
When your words do not match the truth of your heart, something is off-kilter. It doesn't feel right. Saying what is not quite so disturbs the environment.
If you have not tried simple honesty recently, try it now and see how relaxing it is. It allows you to breathe better. Then there is no other shoe left to fall. From honesty, agreement can come. Strength does not come from being less than honest.
It is dishonest not to speak up. Saying nothing is not a cure. It is avoidance. It is procrastination. Perhaps there is no better time than right now to say what is true for you. No one says it is the ultimate truth. It is simply how you see something now, not necessarily how you would like to, not necessarily how others would like you to, but how you do.
When someone asks you a question, rather than imagining what they are asking, answer the question they ask. This may seem like a little thing to you. If that is the case, then it is a little thing for you to answer honestly.
Do not pass off life as something else. When you do, it's like using a pretend voice, making it higher or lower than it is. The timbre of your own voice is fine. Use it. Use honest speech.
This is not telling people off, no, not that. You can be honest without that. You can be clear. You do not have to be unkind to be clear.
It is a discourtesy to keep anyone in the dark.
Saying what is true for you is like clarifying soup. It is simply taking off the fat.
If you want to simplify your life, this is the way to do it.
Above all, be honest with yourself.
When you clean your refrigerator, you are being honest with yourself. There is food you kept but didn't use. No pretending anymore that you will use it sometime. You throw it out now. What a good feeling that is.
That is how being honest feels, like cleaning out the refrigerator.
HEAVEN #1818 Your Heart and Your Words October 27, 2005
When I ask somebody how he/she is I really want to know how that person is. Here in Holland it is not a common courtesy to say that as I saw in the US and I still find that strange. Maybe I am too direct but I am really interested in how somebody is doing. Ofcourse I don´t ask it everybody :?
Emmy
EMMY!
Dear One,
Do you mean that in the Netherlands, if someone is not feeling well or feeling sad, they tell you honestly?
I myself had not really thought about this aspect of telling the truth.
I have mixed feelings. I'll tell you why.
If I say to someone that I am not feeling well, or I am unhappy -- that's not a high vibration. But if I say, "Wonderful!" contrary to how I really feel, then it is not truth which can't be so high either.
I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in a long long time. All she did was tell about all her hospitalizations and how, as she was getting older, her life is falling apart. She was affirming illness as a consequence of growing older, and that can't be a good thing for her to affirm. I know it was not enjoyable listening to her, and I felt pulled down.
The success motivation people, Jeff Keller, for instance, say to answer "How are you?" by saying, "Terrific."
I would love to know more of what you think, Emmy. And I would also like to hear other people's thoughts on this.
With love and blessings,
Gloria
You make an interesting point, Emmy.
HEAVEN #1818 Your Heart and Your Words October 27, 2005
Dear Gloria,
If you have a close relationship with the person most will. And if I know somebody is not doing well and still tells me he/she is doing fine. I will just raise my eyebrow and ask again if they really are fine. Usually that is enough for them to tell what is wrong. Often just a listening ear or a hug is enough to make them feel better. Sometimes they need your advice on a matter. To me a friendship/relationship can grow if you can trust somebody that much to tell how you are feeling whether it is positive or not so positive. How can you be friends with somebody who does not tell you how he/she feels?
Again here at the grocery store when you are going to pay for your groceries they won´t say: How are you doing? Which still is weird to me just thinking about it lol. Just good morning/afternoon and have a nice day afterwards is enough.
EMMY!
Emmy, you make some excellent points. Yes, I see what you mean. There is something wonderful in being direct. For the speaker and the listener as well.
I like what you say about the clerks at grocery stores just wishing you a good day. I guess in America, the words "How are you?"are just a social custom.
Do you have good customer service in the Netherlands? Here sometimes it's not. I might call customer service for my internet connection, for instance, and it seems that the customer service representative couldn't care less, doesn't help, and then at the end says, "You are really important to us," and they don't mean it at all!
So, mixed messages are difficult for me. And I have mixed feelings on this whole thing.
Thank you, Emmy, for furthering my thoughts.
With love, Gloria
HEAVEN #1818 Your Heart and Your Words October 27, 2005
Gloria,
I think with customer services it is the same all around the world.
There are good ones and bad ones. Like on every appletree there are good apples and bad apples 8) .
I know for myself that I have lost friends in the time I always hide my feelings and telling everybody I was doing fine when I actually was not. I have learned from that experience. And ofcourse I won´t tell strangers how I feel but the people I love/care about and vice versa I will tell. :)
Emmy
How are you?
I think that here in Italy it's like in Holland. We just say Good morning! and Have a nice day! How are you? is normally used only among friends or people who know each other well. Normally, the first answer is 'fine' but then something in the attitude prompts me to ask, 'Everything OK?' and people start talking about their problems.
I've noticed that people have a great need to be listened and I often find even perfect strangers telling their whole lifestory to me, just because I'm willing to listen. There's one neighbour whom I try to avoid asking how she is, because she'll keep me up for hours telling about her illnesses.
But normally we don't ask 'how are you' and if we do, we don't expect another answer, just 'fine'.
Paula