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Introducing myslef and talking about grief..............

Hi, My name is Carol but I like to have my username as Mirror.
I have spoken to Gloria a few times and she has tried to help me through my grief.
I had to say goodbye to my Partner/Husband, David in November 2004 physically and I am very lost without his company.
I had worked hard upon myself and I am happy for him that he is now healthy again and happy and I am sure a shining light. He was physically on earth here a most wonderful honourable person and I loved and still love him so so deeply.
I was wondering if there are others who are in my situation who wish to talk.
I am 51 nearly 52 year old in this life, live in Australia and although David and I were not together for that long in relationship/marriage standards (and we were not officially married although both considered us to be so), we shared so much together and were best friends.
We met in January, 1999 online and then physically in April, 2001 after speaking every day and then he came to Australia from USA to live with me in July, 2001 (although that was already decided before we met physically for him to do that).
We went through turmoil and had lots of 'baggage' from both of us from the past but we always respected each other and love always won through.
I miss him with all my body and soul and with each passing day I feel that I am closer to becoming with him again. I know that the Astral Plane of the spiritual world is right with us and that it is just another dimension and that there is no time there and that our love will never die as all love does not, but I am human and find it all so strange and unsure.
David was the best thing to ever happen to me (even though I had a great childhood and have two beautiful lovely daughters and two grand children and love them dearly).............I am blessed to have experienced such a relationship and a love and I am so grateful to David and to any or all guardian angels or guides or god who brought us together.
I am totally lost and bewildered and lack motivation to do much of anything in this strange life though. I work and struggle on but it is a struggle and the sorrow eats away at my heart.
I know that I need to release the pain and in so doing, will possibly help
David to move on and myself to accept but nothing seems right without him by my side as my best dearest friend.
Anyhow, that is my story.
Love Carol (Mirror)


Dear Mirror,

Mirror is a good name, because I think you are holding up a mirror for everyone to see themselves.

I hope everyone sees your honest comment because it is so wonderful, and wonderful of you to post it.

I wonder if it could also go under Spiritual Journey.

I will keep watching to see what replies we get.

God bless you, dear Mirror.

Love, Gloria

To very dear Carol

Very Dear Carol,

My name is Engin - sounds strange in English does not it? yet I do love its meaning: Vast, unbounded, deepless etc- I have been translating Heavenletters into Turkish for sometime and I live in Turkey. I am 35 years old lady. (sorry for my English since I am not a native speaker it is not very correct I think)

I have just red your message and I wanted to say somethings altough I know that it is difficult to say something to comfort you. I just wanted you to know that I can feel all of your sorrow within my heart. On the other hand this is life and we have to cope with many many difficult situations and sometimes we experience many many beautiful occasions....There are unexpected many events -that may seem unfair and too difficult to handle- in our lifes. But somehow God gives us strength as well. With everbody in our lifes and with every thing happening I think we experience and learn something.

You are a very lucky lady that you had experienced such a love that most of the world population craves. I am sure that there are millions and millions of people who can even not imagine such a relationship. You were loved and you are loved. You loved and you do love.

On the other hand in Heavenletters, it is frequently said that our bodies are like cars that carry us from somewhere to smoewhere. Cars get older and finish their lives but we doooooo live. In other diemensions, closer to God, we live. We look for another car which will carry us to other adventures and lands. We do live...Live...

I think your beloved husband completed in his mission, played his role in this part of the play and God called him to Himself and he obeyed this invitation and left his body. But this does not mean that he can not love you anymore.

As to us who have to live in this world a little more, one day we will go as well. But now we are here since God want us to stay here more. This means that we have more missions, we have people here who need our love and care and affection, we have things to be done, we have lessons to take...This means we will have more since we are here....

How lucky you are that you have children and grand children...I know many people who could not have their children, who could not have even a family in their whole lifes..Your children need you, your grandchildren need you. Besides there is nobody, nothing like a tender, caring, loving grandma in the world.

If God can be this much genereous to you HE will be generous again, again. Even a happy childhood is a great blessing and a good beginning for this life on earth. Since most of us lack that kind of a lucky beginning and we are still suffering from our childhood traumas.

With time everything will be better, you wil have flowers, you will have pets, maybe painting courses, drama workshops, yoga lectures, nice family meetings...And everything will be beautiful again. Your beloved husband will watch you from Heaven and will be proud of you who is such a strong, and loving, and givind, and caring lady....

Be sure that humanbeings are very very very strong expressions of God and He never and ever want us to be sorry since this whoooooole and long life is as short as a blink of an eye....

Everything will be better...Believe...BE....and live...


Introducing myslef and talking about grief..............

Thank you for your letters replying to my post.
I feel that I should be more grateful and appreciative of what I found with David and the love and friendship we shared and all the memories we had.
I know that there are many millions of persons who have never experienced such and I know that gratitude and love is the only answer to healing the pain and releasing all bitterness and sorrow.
Mentally I do know all this and I am sorry that I might sound selfish and ungrateful to what has come to me and been experienced by myself in this life time.
Then again, some people would not have experienced the other yucky things that I have either and with all the love, David and I also went through a lot of worry, sorrow and stress and emotional and physical upheavial through finding one another, letting go of situations to begin a life with one another, discovering illness and then of course, the long journey of the illness unaware (as it is with a termnal illness) that the end is not going to be healthy and better living but indeed the loss of the body.
I suppose I am still letting go of all this too.
I am a slow processor. LOL
I do feel bad for all the millions of people who have come to this earth and are suffering so much worse than I have ever done.
I suppose though, in a way , for me, it is frustrating because I do not feel that many others realise how deeply I loved and I guess that if you have not experienced something, then you can not understand.
Life is all about experiences and we have to accept that.
What I do understand though, is why we can not remember other lives and when we are born, simply pick up from when we left and learn that way............going off the subject of grief a bit but.......
So, thank you again for your kindness and time.
For some reason, yes, I am still here and I have to accept that.
It is all so lonely and monotonous for me though............obviously I do not have a good attitude and need to work upon it.
Sometimes, I feel as if I do not belong here though.
Take care and thank you again for your letter , especially as it is not your first language of English to write to me.
You are very clever to talk to me.
Love Mirror


And I think there is one more thing that yesterday I forgat to write. As far as I observe we are here for one more thing as well: To understand the differenece between love and attachment. And this is the most, the most, the most difficult part of all our lessons that we take. They say if we do love we should let our beloveds go when time comes. And if we do not let them go this gives a bit discomfort to them where they are in the other diemension.

Loving without getting attached is the moooosssstttt difficult thing and we all are learning about this and mostly God gives very challenging exams to us...

That is alll...Life is not always pink for all of us...For all of us, we have to deal with allllll colors..I am trying to learn as well. Trying to learn....


Mirror and Engin

Dear Mirror and Engin,

You are both so beautiful.

You both know how to love so well.

I am privileged to have been able to read this correspondence.

God bless you.

With love,


Introducing myslef and talking about grief..............

Dear Mirror,

I wonder if you realize what a wonderful insight you've gained when you say:
I do not feel that many others realise how deeply I loved and I guess that if you have not experienced something, then you can not understand.

I'm reading the story of Jesus' life and this is exactly what he says about God's Love and Truth: you cannot explain it to others, you can only understand it through a direct experience. You have been blessed by God with an experience of perfect love and this profound insight.
I've lived many losses and know by experience that we have to live through the mourning without refusing it and, especially, without feeling guilty about it! Then, the day will come when you wake up into a new morning and life will be worth living again.