Be Respectful First

God said:

Anger flares up when your perceived right to control is affected. Anger is always a control issue, beloveds.

Someone should not have done what they did, nor say what they did, nor step on your lawn. They should do as you see fit. Maybe they really should, yet why are you so hot under the collar?

If you had no need to control, you would not steam yourself in anger. If you had no need to control, why then would you see red when something isn't the way you would choose?

That you would not get angry doesn't mean that you would lie down and love everything that is presented to you. It just means that heat would not rise within you. It doesn't mean that you would not protest or that you wouldn't express. Not at all. You will express better without anger. Without anger, you will prevent wars. With anger, you will escalate war.

This doesn't mean you wouldn't object to something. Objecting and anger are not the same. Protesting and anger are not the same. I don't need to tell you what anger feels like. You already know that too well. It is one thing to object to and correct a child's misspelling, for instance, and another to be irate about his misspelling.

Even if a great offense is done to you, what is the advantage in raising your blood pressure? What exactly has been taken away from you that you have to erupt in anger or have a slow burn? If someone or something sears your heart, what is gained by your raising your temperature?

Anger is never wonderful.

Speaking up is another thing. Asserting yourself is another thing.

Anger is always hostile. You may be absolutely correct, and the offending party absolutely incorrect A situation may have to be changed, Still, rage is not your friend. Rage undermines you.

If you really do want to have more jurisdiction over your life, then no longer accept anger. You do not have to be controlled by anything that is said and done. However, when you want to control a situation, so you rise to the bait and you rise in anger, and you lose control of that which is yours to have some say over.

You cannot choose for other people. You cannot make them say or do what you think they should, no matter how right you are. They are not puppets whose strings you can pull.

You may well accuse someone else of bossing you around. They really are bossing you around, and it offends you. When you want to tell them off, what are you doing but wanting to boss them around, the very thing that ticked you off. You don't like anyone telling you what to do. You don't even want your employer to tell you what to do. And, so, you must not tell others what to do or how to think.

No matter how perturbed you feel, no matter how unfair someone's treatment of you may be, it is for you to go higher. Otherwise, you are left with a tug of war. That's what skirmishes amount to. "Yes, I can. No, you can't."

When you see children doing that, you know better. Know better when it is you.

There are a million items that you can feel angry about. There are million times you don't like the way something is done. Yet it is your need to control that makes you break out in anger.

You get angry with your computer. You get angry with your friend, your mother, your wife, your husband.

Instead of yelling, talk softly. Be kind. React as you would like others to react.. Be respectful. Be respectful first.

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1 Heavenletter Haiku for

1 Heavenletter Haiku for you

Hello Friends,

God said talk softly
Be kind and respectful first
You will be better

Love, Light and Aloha!

"Be respectful first".. That

"Be respectful first"..

That is so beautifully expressed...Thank you :O)

Its so easy just to explode

:big Its so easy just to explode with anger. Our lives would be so much more peaceful if we would BE peaceful.

I wish that I were able to

I wish that I were able to learn this lesson - gifted with this writing when my sons were young. Then maybe the oldest wouldn't be struggling to learn it so much now that he is an adult. BUt having said that, it is also his to learn. ANd I feel privileged to have such a connection to be able to have the learning. Each day I get the chance to practice this learning. Each day I succeed a little more. With help and the love that has been gifted to me. I have such good friends and family. All my family pretty much are estranged, but they are still ones I love. They have their own struggles and I don't have to fix it any more. I just love them from afar and don't fall into the chaos anymore. Their anger is theirs. Thank you so very much for being with me each day. You level me and allow for me to be.

Debra, I've just got to say

Debra, I've just got to say your postings do a lot for me.
I would like to be as far along as you are.

With love and blessings,


Dear Debra, I recognize

Dear Debra, I recognize myself so well with what you say, concerning my sons and family. Life is really a learning process and I'm learning that their anger and caos is theirs, I "don't have to have it", as God told us in several Heavenletters.
Heavenletters are our Heaven and Guide and help us to be and express all the Love God gave us. Thanks for your posting dear !

The tentacles of certain

The tentacles of certain angers reach back to times not remembered ---- hiding in the distant shadows of our psyche. They wait to be triggered to be set free with the power that they were told to hide for in the first place from distant shadows they emerge.