awareness of God
When you have awareness of Me one time more than another, it is a matter of the quality of your attention. That has to be so because I am with you totally without fail all of the time. It is an impossibility for Me to be absent for even one split millisecond. I do not wander. It is simply your awareness that does.
Quite naturally you want good things in life to happen, and you are delighted when they do, when they come to you as gifts, perhaps as surprise falling from the sky. By the same token, you are crestfallen when great surprises of joy do not arise and seeming impediments wrap themselves around you instead. You see what you welcome as tributes to yourself, and those which you do not welcome as scoldings. Is that not so? You may live life according to a sense of reward and punishment.
I do not usually come to My children as flash. As active as I am, I am quiet. In the quietness lies My strength. Flashiness does not last. It would be too much for you in any case.
Experience awareness of Me, but do not expect Me to appear in a blaze of light. Look not for a phenomenon. Just look for your quiet awareness of God Almighty.
Your experience of Me is great. You can know that because you exist. You exist with Me. You would not exist without Me. What do you need a great big flashy experience for?
I say, "I AM." I say, "I am right here." I say, "I am always right here." I say, "You have Me always, beloveds."
Beloveds, you live in many worlds. It doesn't matter where your body is, and it doesn't matter where your mind is. I am totally absolutely right here with you. I am as near to you as your breath. We are so vital and vibrant to each other. We are the same breath. Who breathes your lungs in and out, you or I? Who can separate Us? Neither you nor I.
You are My result, and you are also the result of your ancestors. And part of your purpose is to free yourself from them. Love them, be grateful to them, but step out from them, for often what you have inherited are limits. A child of Mine is not bounded but unbounded, so you must leap away from the confines of local inheritance.
You belong to a larger universe than your bloodline. That is physical, and it is momentary. Go back to your beginning before you were outlined in the physical, and you will begin to know your boundlessness.
Let Us talk about My love for a moment. It has been such a mystery to you, what love is, that you may be it, and you are perplexed how I, God, can love so much and love so much that which, in your eyes, has imperfection. You wonder how I can love you so much, simply as you are, a fussing being on Earth.
Sometimes you disdain yourself. That is not your own thought. It certainly is not your original thought.
You equate coming to peace in life with coming to peace with loss and death, the main issues you consider important.
What coming to peace with life really means is coming to terms with the unholy concept that life will not always go according to your will. When you come to terms with that and the little impish things in life, you will be at peace. The larger matters will then take care of themselves.
You are an investor in life. You half-invest. You welcome life at the same time as you turn it away. You want and you don't want.
You are the same with death. You long for it, and you hide from it. You run away from it.
As you look at death, so you look at life.
You do not always deal well with change.
All of life is a transit from one moment to another. All is in transition. You slip from one moment to another. Your body changes minute by minute according to other changes. You are never the same, and yet you crave to be the same, as if a moment ago were better than this one now.
You have made anchors in your life. Certain people and traditions and organizations are your anchors. Yes, they anchor you to earth. But you do not need anchors.
If you will, you can think of Me as an anchor, but that is a contradiction because anchors don't lift you to Heaven. Better to think of Me as a Lifter of Anchors.
Remember, it is not your love for another that is an anchor. Love is a freer. Attachment is an anchor. It is an anchor you make up. An anchor is something or someone you grab, push into the earth, and say it holds you there!
The pain in your heart is your heart's knowing that it has cheated itself. Pain in your heart is your heart's knowing that you are meant for more than you have allowed. Even your ego knows that you are far more than you have pretended to be.
A disguise is not comfortable, or not comfortable for long.
If you were your plain self, you would be lighthearted.
You think you have to be a certain way, and you think others do too, and so a cycle revolves.