When Your Feelings Are Hurt

God said:

What if you accepted everything that came to you as what is supposed to come? What if you did not have to fight it? What if you did not have to push it away? Even when it was something you didn’t like, what if you didn’t have to make anything of it? What if you did not have to fume about it or ache about it? What if whatever happens happens, and that’s all there is to it? What if you do not have to berate anyone for what you didn’t want, not anyone including yourself?
This is what is meant by taking life as it comes. You simply don’t make a big to-do about it. You don’t have to go into it. It happened. You don’t have to defend yourself. You do not have to set someone else straight.
Whatever happens that you don’t like, what if you would consider it like rain? When you are caught in the rain, you keep going. You pull out an umbrella or you dash into a coffee shop. In any case, you don’t stop in your tracks and rail at the rain or try to figure out how it could rain or wonder what you did to bring the rain.
Perhaps you could consider what befalls as too bright sunshine in your eyes? In that case, you would slip on your sunglasses or perhaps cup your hand over your eyes or simply get out of the rays of the sun. You wouldn’t think less of the sun because it blinded you for a moment. You wouldn’t accuse the sun. You wouldn’t try to educate the sun.
Look, you would take the rain and the sun in your stride. They would not set you back. They would not stop you in your tracks.
And, yet, when someone says something that hurts your feelings, your whole focus seems to alight on your feelings and the unfairness of the person who said something that you take so much to your heart. Must someone's affront to you, intended or not intended, overtake your equanimity? Must a remark ruin your day? Must you keep thinking about it and thinking of what you should have said and what a nerve the offender had to say what he said and think what he thinks and why do you care so much?
By the same token, your day doesn’t have to be made because of great appreciation from someone, as if your life is as dependent upon accolades as it is upon reproaches.
What is the difference between someone who says something awful to you and your being taken over by the thought of how awful it is what he said and how he should not have?
Maybe the person who offends you didn’t mean to. Or, even if he did mean to, you’ve still got to let go of it. Maybe the people who offend you were offended by something you carelessly or innocently said or did. Take care of that which you can take care of, and then let it go. Maybe a simple “I’m sorry,” is enough, from you to another and from another to you.
Beloveds, such matters are not the point of your life. Your existence has to be for greater than what aggravates you.
People misunderstand. People mistake. And, dear ones, if your day is made or your day is broken because of what someone else says, then find a way to overcome your super-sensitivity. If you are to react to what every Tom, Dick, and Harry says, then you have to find a way not to be so affected.
People who offend you are not mosquitoes that you must slap. A mosquito does get under your skin, yet, even with a mosquito, you don’t let a mosquito bite occupy your thoughts for the rest of your day or the week or for years.

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People who treat me

People who treat me offensively who are supposed to be my supporters, my friends, - who have been there for me all of my life- who all of a sudden reject me and stop supporting me, are not and should not be considered to be a mosquito sting to wipe off and forget about, to let go and not think about.
I've been told way too often that I am too sensitive and to 'let go' of the hurt, often by the very same people who have hurt me. But I find this is another way of invalidating me. There is a good reason to be concerned, a good reason to feel hurt. It is not 'being over-sensitive'. These are not children I am dealing with, their hurts have been called out and they have refused to apologize and make ammends with me.
Therefore, it is not only the hurt of rejection but also the pain of grief of lost of trust that has to be suffered by me. This is not a deep religious teaching, but rather it is more invalidation.

Dear Owl, thank you for

Dear Owl, thank you for expressing yourself. I know just what you are saying. I have also experienced quite a few friends' no longer wanting to be friends. I am always stunned. I know very well what you are talking about. God in Heavenletters seems to say that no one has to stay our friend unless they want to. They are free to live their lives as they choose. No one owes us anything. What's the benefit in holding on to the past, dear one?

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