What You Really Want

God said:

There is not one of you who does not seek Me. You may call it happiness — or wealth or fulfillment or dreams or rescue or the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or yourself that you seek — but it is I you are seeking. If you are seeking happiness, you are seeking Me, for I am the ultimate happiness. There is no other happiness like Me.

And yet, all the same, you may be afraid to say My Name.

You may be so reluctant to come face to face with Me that you shake your fist at Me. You blame Me rather than credit Me. You point out all the wrongs in the world and say, "See, Nonexistent God, what you have done."

And yet, how you want Me to be true, and how you want My goodness to manifest in your life and in the world. You want Me to be your knight in shining armor. You want Me to pull you up on a white horse and run away with you to a far-off land where troubles of the world do not last or exist and will not be remembered and where you will come into your own and be a glowing light like the sun to brighten life on earth for all who remain there.

You want to matter. And you want Me to matter, and you want Me to be what you want. Sometimes you think I am your creation, that you created Me in your image, and so, just as you have done with yourself, you have apportioned Me into less than I am. You consider Me capable of great wrong — you see it around you every day — or capable of great weakness — or incapable of knowing what is going on in the world let alone what I'm doing. Yes, even though you doubt My greatness, you see great fault in Me.

You think I am capable of great weakness. You forget what I am truly capable of. You may even sneer at the love I speak of, as though it were a mere fairy tale or pittance or poor excuse for a God.

Do not try to bring Me down to your size. It is for you to rise to Mine.

This freedom I gave you, you object to. Oh, perhaps you want it for yourself and some others, but for those who do not do as you would have them do, you think I shouldn't give them the freedom I bequeath. You think I should never allow them their freedom when they take it as opportunity for madness or cruelty. Only freedom for good things should be allowed.

But what I offer to one, I offer to all.

You may say you want a perfect world, but sometimes what you really seem to want is a world you can criticize and a God along with it.

Could it be that you make a scapegoat of God? Am I to blame for everything? Have you no responsibility for what occurs in the land you live in?

Where are your thoughts? On what are they located? What furbishes and refurbishes them? What adjectives describe your petulance?

Does it make you wonderful to point out wrongs? Do you possess some great skill to find fault? Does it ennoble you? Does it raise you above the masses? Does it make you more loving?

I do not think that finding fault is the best you can do. I know you are capable of much more. I know that as you rise in your estimation, so do I rise in your estimation. But do not estimate Me nor yourself. Instead, grace the world with Our presence. Be quick to find good. Be quick to embrace Me, for I am what you want anyway.

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a far-off land

And yet, how you want Me to be true, and how you want My goodness to manifest in your life and in the world. You want Me to be your knight in shining armor. You want Me to pull you up on a white horse and run away with you to a far-off land where troubles of the world do not last or exist and will not be remembered and where you will come into your own and be a glowing light like the sun to brighten life on earth for all who remain there.
 
Yes. But never mind the white horse, never mind even truth or goodness manifesting, and never mind that knight and coming into my own to be a glowing light. Never mind all the things that make this old child's heart beat faster even now. A far-off land where nothing is remembered will do for me. Once there, if I find that brightening life on earth is the thing to do, I won't object.