i had always felt as i would not belong to my birth family because of the treatment i received through my mother. i had developed a technic i called " to put on my oil-skin" in order to not feel the pain of not being loved nor wanted. when the "oil-skin" would not work, i would go out in the forest to be with my friends the trees and tell them of my pain. they mostly could help and comfort me. but at this particular day nothing would work and i screemed out my pain, somehow knowing, it had to come out. i screemed and screemed until i was exausted, i sat on the ground and cried. suddenly i saw a light in the shape of a huge egg floating towards me and i heard the most wonderfull, soft and kind voice asking me to "come in". the light was the most beautifull thing i have ever seen and the voice comforted me, so i was not afraid. as i entered, the "egg" changed into two arms that hugged and cuddled me and for the first time in my life - at that time i was about 7 years old - i felt the warmth of a love so undiscribeable, that my heart opened wide and healing tears washed all the pain away. i saw a face with the most beautiful smile and eyes full of sparkling love and light. i heard the words: you are loved, little one, so much loved. you can call on me, when ever you need me. i will be with you always.
i stayed in these arms, that held and rocked me for the longest time.......and when i felt a smile on my face, i knew, i would not need the oil-skin anymore......