The Crux of the Matter
It is an acknowledged fact that you get upset about occurrences as well as about non-occurrences. This is not a great strength to get upset. It is a weakness and often your downfall. This is not to say that something is not upset-worthy, for, yes, of course, there is much that upsets you.
I could ask you to ask yourself: “Must I always answer the doorbell so quickly? Do I run down the stairs? Is everything so urgent to me?”
And then, you admit: “Why, I guess it is. I act like that, yes, I do.”
Are you on the fight or flight mode all the time? Are you geared to the fight or flight mode of life? For Heaven’s sakes, why?
Something presses your buttons. You get interrupted too many times. You lose your place in your work. You can’t find your earrings. All these upset you. A storm of big proportions brews in you. What if what you are looking for cannot be found? Will your heart stop a beat? What if you get interrupted again? Tell Me, is it better to get upset than to be interrupted?
Who set your buttons? Who insists that it is right and necessary for you to be upset? What would happen if you did not get upset? It has to be that you set your own buttons. You supplied yourself a list and you listed them and you left space for further irritations that you might add another time. If you set your buttons, can you not reset them?
Of course, the buttons are within you. There is a signal that goes off within you. It says: “Alert. Warning. Get upset.”
This signal is not your friend. What this signal really says is: “Time for you to have a tantrum to one degree or another. Get upset. Upset your digestion. Upset your peace of mind. Clamp down on your arteries, breathing, and joy. Frenzy yourself. Get all worked up. Upset others in the process. Be sure to kid yourself that getting upset is a worthy thing to do. Kid yourself that getting upset is the ONLY thing to do. Don’t find any other way to handle irritations in life. Make everything worse.”
I would urge you to go beyond the signals you listen to. I would ask you to cease summoning frustration. I would ask you to think more along these lines. Say to yourself:
“Okay, right now I can’t find something I think I need. And this and this and this are irritating me. Do I have to let them get to me? Is this what I need? What I need more than what I can’t find is to find peace of mind. Is this annoyance I’ve come across right now, is it really worth my getting frazzled? What do I think I’m doing? By getting upset, all I do is gain more upset. If I truly don’t want to go through upset, why do I then?”
If you can’t find a good reason, then it must be you find something attractive in being upset. Do you need upset? What do you like about it? What does it give you that you like?
You know, your act of getting upset gets your attention off something else. Perhaps you feel neglected in life. Perhaps upset is a way for you to add a spark to your life. Perhaps upset is a way to remind yourself that you are a person and you need to be considered.
Consider yourself, please, and lay off upset.
You may say: “Okay, God, You are right. But how do I do it? How do I break this habit? I am willing to, but how?”
And that is the crux. Find another way. Who is going to find it unless you do?
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