Why would I defend myself unless I thought I was attacked, that the attack was real, and that my own defense could save myself? My defense system is based on giving the illusions of attack full reality and then attempting to handle them as real.

Is my defensiveness bringing me security? First of all, defense is always frightening. We just have to throw a rapid look at the war state of the world. Defense stems from fear, increasing fear as each defense is made. Defensiveness and fear feed on each other and grow on each other. I might think defensiveness offers safety. Yet it speaks of fear made real and terror justified: ". What is this battle? Are you at war? Have you considered life a danger zone and that you must be on guard? You are ready to duel."

But what am I trying to defend? It must be something I feel is very weak and easily attacked, something unable to protect itself and needing my defense. I named my body. I am trying to defend my body. "Where does this tenseness in your body come from?" I tend to think that it is my body I have to protect against scarcity, cold, humiliation, error, even death.

But does the body have any fear by itself, does it have built-in fear? It already has its own defense structure and it doesn't even need our protection, care, and concern. When I try to defend the body am I not attacking my mind? Is it in my body or in my mind that I perceive faults, weaknesses, limits and lack?

I suppose it is the thoughts that are in need of healing and the body will respond with health when these thoughts have been corrected and replace with truth. "Remember My love. Remember in Whose care you are."

God is my only security. And God does not need any defense system to insure His and Our security. He tells me that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by Him Whose only purpose is my good. Perhaps I have misunderstood His plan, because He would never offer pain to me. My present trust in Him is the only viable security that promises an undisturbed and peaceful future. I could say that my Defenselessness lies in my present trust in Him. Trusting in God is also trusting in happiness. So happiness is the real strength, the real defensiveness which is called Defenselessness. I try not to let happiness slip by because a fragment of a senseless dream of attack happened to cross my mind.

No, Gloria, I don't mind at all writing to you here. I thought if I did that I'd be posting on your site, but that's not true because you decide what gets posted and what doesn't. I still think I sent too many notes to you with your schedule--busy, and you're needed by others. I wasn't needing any answers from you-- I'd still like to know the year you saw Christ so I can change the Page with your name on it to reflect when you saw him. Breathe.....and isn't it also wonderful to be needed by others? With love.

And what would it really be like to live without fear? Well...it would be to live a life of joy....and of peace...and of love. Every moment would be a treasure...to be treasured so much...to be appreciated so much. Each moment would be sacred...like a prayer bead...held and carressed....;and honored completely...until the next one comes along. Maybe the people in our life our prayer beads...to be held...and to be appreciated...and to be honored...one at a time. And all of our experiences are beads as well...to be honored and held lovingly. There is no hurry or worry with any of this. We can truly take our hands off the steering wheel...and give the control over to God. And with this, in this....only God is left....only God is present. the little me quietly takes a back seat. How perfect...how sublime...how natural...how sincere and honest with even pretension gone...all of the strategies gone...all of the hiding gone...all of the fear gone...at long last. Many blessings and so much love. Jim and Jimi.

In a moment between stops on this long trip I take time to add love's brush stroke to something Heaven Letters tells us to DO. The real Heaven Letter WORD is about becoming what we think. Just read the letters and the Mind in you teaches you how to protect your heart and lovingly guides your mind. It's all done by the LIFE that's growing you to become a knower. Love

George

I see and remember.

Old list, new list, so confusing again, dear God. So much to find out, so many things to bear in mind. Where does this tenseness in my body come from? It seems I should know but I don't. Letting my fears go. Aha. Carrying a flag of love. Yes, sure. Oh, and all the remembering that needs to be done and probably should have been done long since. Gosh, it's like standing in a dark space and then a curtain goes up and there's an audience and you realize it's a stage you are standing on and you don't know your lines, you don't even know which play. Humiliation, yes. Yes, let's be humble now, quickly, let's get rid of that uniform...

Is life really so many things you have to do right after reading lots of instructions you may grasp at a superficial level but not really (just like the ones for a computer or cell phone or wireless LAN)? It's funny how easily I still get into a state, frantically trying to find out just what it is I'm supposed to do or to know – and never succeeding. But I'm beginning to see that this is an almost unfair reaction, considering the utter benevolence of Heavenletters. And I'm absolutely sure I'm forgiven by the one who composes them. How often have I said, "You've lost me there, God"? He never does. You are following all right, wheter you know it or not.

There is a teaching going on on a different level than that of the words. I can say that with confidence now that I'm beginning to see it. It may be a different teaching for every single one of us. I'm being taught to let go, to unreasonably, indiscriminately, universally, blindly let go on the spot. And as I do so for a moment more and more often, the sudden aliveness of everything, the sudden alrightness of life, is overwhelming. You cannot call it "do", of course, it's not done. Reading Heavenletters for a while, it may happen. Anything may happen.