Julie to Gloria:

Dear Gloria, my seventeen-year old son has given me yet another area in which to "let go". We have been letting go of this one for about a week now, and it seems to bring up for me that I never really did let go.

I was writing to God this morning and said I keep wanting to have Gloria ask Him, maybe she can get a clearer answer. His answer was, "Why not? Do you think you are the only parent to deal with this issue? Perhaps the others would benefit." So here goes:

Julie to God:

My dearest God, You know well all the "letting go" we have gone through the past 6 months, and I thank You. Our dear child is bringing so much to us, and I feel like I make such progress in learning to love unconditionally. Yet each day seems to bring something new, some new fear, some new issue.

Here's the deal. He has fallen in love and wants to have his girlfriend spend the night at home here.

We have always talked openly about sex and what a wonderful fulfillment of Your love it is.

So now I feel like I am being asked to put my money where my mouth is. If teenage sex is a natural part of life, why is it so weird to accept his honesty? I feel as if I would be irresponsible to encourage a sexual relastionship between two people who are not at all ready to become parents. I don't want to raise another child. I do accept the fact that he will have sex, that doesn't seem to be the problem.

What is the issue here? Is it social values? I have never been that concerned about them before. I just don't seem to be able to be comfortable with sanctioning their having sex at home.

What is the greater truth here?

My son lied to me again the other night, and now all the fears of the past come rolling back over me. I attach so much to honesty. ( I use the word attach consciously) I feel betrayed when he chooses to lie. I think I have turned him over to you, and then I see I haven't the faith I thought I had.

I want your Peace, Dearest Lord of my heart, but I also want Your Guidance.

I love You.

God to Julie:

My dear child, Julie.

As to your son having his girlfriend sleep over your house, you simply are not comfortable. That is your answer.

To whom do you owe it to be uncomfortable?

To thine own self be true.

You have nothing to prove here, dear Julie.

I wonder if you think you have to be a forerunner of freedom?

Free yourself, Julie, from having to be the perfect unconditional mother.

Your son has brought you grief. He cracks your shell. He is a great teacher of yours, Julie, but that does not mean you have to grit your teeth and love unconditionally — or else…?

Distance yourself for a moment, and observe how an unfailingly loving mother pulls the reins. Made of satin and ribbons they are, but reins nevertheless.

Having your son sleep with his girlfriend in your house when you feel uncomfortable about it is not unconditional love.

One issue here has to do with your honest feelings and your honesty to yourself.

Julie, you care.

Your son is not bringing his wife. He is not bringing your daughter-in-law. Society or what, no matter, you are entitled to your feelings.

The act of sexual intercourse is not the issue here for you, you are right. In your house under the present circumstances is the issue. And that issue is a buzzer. It contains another issue, an issue of your lack of unconditional love for yourself.

Julie, why does your son want to bring his girlfriend to sleep over with him in your house? What is his need or purpose here? Does she live at great distance? Is your son also trying to prove something? Is he perhaps exacting a price from you in exchange for his love? Did he think you would be comfortable with this?

What do you fear will happen if you say no?

A simple straightforward no is good enough. Say, "No, I am not comfortable with this."

Dear sweet-hearted Julie, you have a conflict over what you feel and what you would prefer to feel. You hold an image of yourself. You need hold no such image. This image does not allow you to feel insulted and angry and imperfect.

You are made in My image. That is enough image.

It is all right to feel imperfect, Julie. I give you permission.

You are not on top of things. Not your own feelings, not your son's actions. You try so hard not to control, Julie, that you may forget regard for your own feelings or even acknowledge what they are, and that is also control, dear one.

In this issue of your son's girlfriend sleeping over, where is your husband on this? What does he feel? What has he said? He can help you in this, dear Julie.

Your son. Your son. You are not responsible for your son. Letting him go means his lies are his issue, not yours. You are not going to like his lies or admire them, and you cannot take them on. In your releasing your son to Me, release his lies and imperfections to Me as well.

Sometimes recognition of lies tells you the truth.

What is, is.

Your son does not meet your ideal.

You are right that the issues that concern you here concern everyone. How to deal with imperfection in yourself and others. How not to be attached to imperfection in yourself and others.

Lies are quicksand. They are a boxer who dodges all over the place.

Beneath your son's sparring and lies and troubledness lies a pure heart. He will come to it.

And you do not need to prove your pure heart. Its tenderness is assured.

Mothers cry for their children. You are no different.

Know that I, your Heavenly Father, do not cry. I do not despair. I do not fear — can you imagine My being afraid? I KNOW THE OUTCOME. Your son is finding his way in the world and his way to Me.

And that is what everyone is doing.

Julie, even My son Jesus became angry. It is all right for you to be angry. It does not diminish you.

Chop wood. Do something physical.

And you will feel much better when you tell your son No.

Gloria:

I do not understand how it happens that children go through such hard times and put their parents through it.

God:

It is unfathomable to the human mind. But it also has an ending.

Mother Divine:

Julie, I just want you to know of my love you and your son. I have tender mercies, and I, with God, look out for you both.

Let go of your aching heart. Give it to God.

Tend your flowers and treat yourself like a rose. For what are you but a rose? When you know you are a rose, you don't concern yourself with it. You just be it.

I am deep in your heart, and you are a beautiful child of God.

Treat yourself as your child. Be tender to the sweet soul that you are.

Nourish yourself, and know you are served by God. He gives you His blessings. He says:

"You are Mine. And I am yours. Whatever the circumstances, I am assured. That means love is assured. You are loved, and your son is loved. My love is great. My love strengthens all hearts, and it strengthens yours.

"You are beneficiary of My love. Be weighed down with My love like a branch of an apple tree, heavy with apples. The branch bends to God with the blessings of being a branch of an apple tree and its joy in giving joy to the world.

"And that is surrender to Me."

Bow to God in your heart, Julie, and you will blossom in the Garden of Eden.