You are certainly right, Normand, that ego will go to great, tricky lengths to ensure its survival. Still, in the end, Heavenletters don't stop there, or have you heard them recommend killing the ego, have you heard them declare the holy war on the ego? Wouldn't that amount to an attempt to prove that evil does in fact exist? I remember Heavenletters which say that even ego will come to consent to its own demise. What kind of creation would that be where something had to be killed for the rest to have a better life? Not one I would want to be part of.

Having come to know you as one who has only the best of intentions, I ask you to not take it as criticism but just as indicative of a different kind of personal experience when I say that, for me, all the seeing through we have become so very good at over the centuries has proven thoroughly infertile. Seeing through denial and resistance can be a good thing for a moment of aha, but once we start drawing conclusions, it turns against itself and defeats itself.

We have been staring at that hole in the needle for eons, frightened, realizing we'll never make it through. I don't want us to stare at it, frightened, for another eternity. The solution for the seeming problem of ego must be somewhere else. It must be friendlier, gentler, it must be kind through and through without being doting, it must be love.

This world and this life have been a dark place for me, dark light, dark beauty, dark laughter, dark love, deep and dark happiness, and yes, dark Heaven, dark Paradise, dark God and endless dark and sad joy about it all. There is no doubt a lot of ego involvement there, but I would still love to make all of it fruitful and palatable to that grand total that is oneness. Even if it finally turns out that ego will never allow me to not be afraid to be me or to sing for or with a loving God or even just to bear His gaze, I would still love to be eaten and possibly relished by oneness, ego and all. I don't know why humans don't go there hand in hand, preferring to see through each other's weaknesses instead.

I totally agree with you Jochen in the sense that there is nothing to kill. How can you kill an illusion? What we are "putting an end to" is our perception of the Ego, our adhesion to it as the ruler, as the "imagined self", not the Real One. When I AM ceases to play the game of light and darkness, ego just transmutes itself into Individuality at the service of Love. Death anyway is always symbolic since we are immortal. But there is a narrow passage in transmutation, it is when we really say "Yes God", for good. And we can visit and revisit the entry of this narrow passage several times before engaging ourself into it.

Thank you, Jim and Jimi. I think I understand invitation. But an invitation states where you are not or not yet, and that is not an address you can feed into your navigation device or look up on a map. By which I mean that even if you understand the words of the invitation, you may not know what it is about or where to turn. That's where the mind will start trying to figure it out, and we know where that usually leads.

The quotation itself also contains a statement, namely that there are people who are "afraid to be me." I don't know how many. Enough to merit a mention, in any event. Perhaps many. Perhaps most. Perhaps all. I don't know, I can only speculate and I don't want to.

So if mind has no trustworthy route to offer while your higher faculties are still fingering those "pretend veils", scratching their head so to speak, you are left with invitations and suggestions, getting a headache while trying to weigh them. This is where, sometimes, I become very calm, realizing I will never know the solution and don't have to. Not having to know feels so unbelievably free, you ask yourself incredulously, Why on earth don't I remember to fall back on not knowing more often?

Being "afraid to be me", once fully conscious, can be a big and choking problem with many ramifications – but only for as long as I believe that I have to solve it. The difficulty, in a world of problem solvers, is to remain true to my realization that problems are not for me to solve. This is even more difficult in a state of panic like the one that made me write my earlier comments on this Heavenletter.

But I am being helped. I think the biggest help I have ever been offered is Heavenletter #3588 which we were given on Tuesday of this week. The more often I read it the clearer it becomes that these are the deepest and most wonderously effective words I have ever heard. God is allowing me to know nothing, be nothing, do nothing. I do not know anything more desirable after all those years of misconstrued responsibility and of mercilessly driving myself to I never actually knew where or what. Suddenly, I'm allowed to live out of that little knapsack that contains no more than what this apparent moment holds, fingers somehow hitting lots of little square buttons, black marks appearing on a white background, a smile about what is called meaning. No history.

Lovely Jim, I realize this is hardly a response to what you said. Forgive me, I got carried away.

Thank you, Gloria, it is so beautiful to hear these words again. Before Heavenletters, I always had in my mind those uttered in the Bible: "You are the salt of the earth, you are the light of the world". After all it is the same One speaking.