In Service to God
If you feel gloomy, you are thinking about yourself too much. Do not think you are an exception to this rule. No matter what is going on, no matter what upset, loss, pain, ennui you are experiencing, your reference point is off-center. My children are not centered when they think of themselves so much. So much is overmuch. Refrain from asking yourself the question: “How do I feel today?” It is not the question to ask yourself.
Say to yourself instead:
“Today I branch out in my life. How I feel is not a matter of concern. No matter how I may feel, I am here to serve. Whatever I have to grumble about, scream about, grieve over, I rise above. I am not here on Earth for myself. I am here to serve, and serve I will. As I look for opportunities to serve, I will find them. I will not ignore even one opportunity.
“I remember the fairy tale where the princess had to marry the first thing she saw on her way. She did not see a prince on her way. As a matter of fact, she saw a frog. Of course, frogs do turn into princes. May I remember this.
“I may not see a splendid opportunity right off, but I will not pass one by. If I see a paper to pick up, I will pick it up. Whatever I see to do, that is what I will do. There will be nothing too small for me to do. It is no longer a question if I want to do it. It is a question of my being there and its being there for me to do. It would not be in front of me if it were not for me to do.
“The more opportunities I see to serve, greater will be the opportunities that present themselves. There is no telling what service I will be called on to perform. I have the skill of heart to see it is done.
“What I do know now is that it is not for me to be thinking of the minuteness of myself.
“If I feel despair or depression, I am not reaching God within. In that case, I have been going down a dead-end street, and I must get out of myself. God and the peace He brings also reside outside me. To find peace, I may have to add some peace to the world. I cannot seclude myself. I cannot excuse myself from the world and pretend it doesn’t need me. I cannot pretend that I am an isolate. I cannot lie to myself that inner disturbance is divine, and something I must investigate further.
“No matter how much I want to wrap myself in a warm duvet, I throw the covers off and get up. I do not face the world. I greet it. I get dressed and go out, and I thank Almighty God that I have the ability to move. I thank God for my legs. I thank God for my shoes. And I thank God for giving me the initiative to get up and go after service to Him.
“God takes me outside myself. He leads me to the green pastures. He tells me that I must lead others there. It is not enough to go there myself. I am not yet ready to lie down. God tells me it is service to Him that brings me where I want to be. Indeed, instead of doldrums, I choose the green pastures. This is my choice to make.
“I have had enough feeling sorry for myself or denouncing myself. Now I choose service to God, and I can know that all service is to myself as well without thinking about it.”
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