Golden Hills
I hear your despair. I hear you say:
“Dear God, beloved God, the One and Only God, how can I, deeply connected to You, feel such deep despair? How can it be that I am not the happiest person in the world? What is happening, and what is not happening? I am so tired of feeling lost in my present and future life here as a seeming bedraggled human being on a seeming bedraggled Earth. How can it be that I focus on the underside of life rather than on Life's Beauty and Wondrousness and Closeness to You?”
Dear Children, you have a fear of change. You would like to feel the world solid under your feet, yet the world does not feel solid to you. Often you wonder what you are doing here trembling on Earth. Your mind is often not here. It is somewhere else, and you are not sure where that somewhere else is. As it is, you live part-time, to one extent or another, in a Land you might name Fear.
What is happening? It is like you are on a raft floating on a river. You came from somewhere, and now you are going somewhere else. Not uphill, but upriver, floating along where life seems to take you. You ask what is happening?
Beloveds, life is happening.
You want some kind of certificate of safety. You want to see a guarantee in writing. You want peace and sense of fulfillment now and for all time and no longer just announcements of it.
You never want to be shaken again. You never want to be a trembling leaf in the wind that falls off and then is blown away. You may tend to think your life depends upon undependable events and reactions from the world around you when it is you who lets your life depend upon your reactions and wavering perceptions of it. It may well be that you hold life away from you at a surmised distance.
Of course, you are asking when and how you can be self-reliant and unwavering despite the winds that blow. Yes, your reactions are what make you tremble. You are not so dependent upon the world as you make yourself out to be.
You ask how you can rely on what I say? You figure that I wish to offer you comfort and solace, yet you fear that what I offer is speculative. You see promises offered. You fear that promises are only promises. You like to trust, yet you cannot quite rely on promises becoming true. At least in your lifetime, you don't think you can. Your confidence is flagging.
You yearn to trust in life tooth and nail. In fact, you go up and down in your reliance on Me and life and everything and everyone else. You feel at risk. It is almost that you buy into the downside as though suspicion somehow bolsters you.
What is it, dear ones? What are you so wary of?
The world at large has not always been your pearl. You may not like to face that you, as well as the world, have been your own disappointment. You are not as you want to be. You can cry out at the world, at life, Me, etc. right and left. Disappointment from everywhere else is easier to look at than disappointment in yourself.
Never do I wish you to put yourself down. No, no, not at all. Yet, when it comes down to it, you convict yourself of waywardness and inability to engage in life with optimism, and you ring an anguishing bell of despair.
How you would love a Great Hand to lift you above your faint heart. How you desire a hero to lift you up on a white steed and whisk you away to Golden Hills.
From your level of perception and attention, life is not safe. It is dangerous. You could fall through a manhole at any moment. Life seems to be a digression from happiness owed you. Stiff and unbending, you may look at life with squinted eyes as though life is something you must ford off instead of embrace.
Consider, you have it backwards.
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