Euro English
I received the following via email which I think is hilarious.
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The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
I got tears in my eyes for
I got tears in my eyes for laughing at this! Great!
Paula
Safe in My arms you're only dreaming. -
Al sicuro tra le Mie braccia state solo sognando.
Love is the Answer.-Amore è la Risposta
That's just wonderful -
That's just wonderful - thank you for sharing it with us. How do you like the following?
WALKING ON WATER
Three monks decided to practice meditation together. They sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then suddenly, the first one stood up and said, ‘I forgot my mat.’ He stepped onto the water and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side.
When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, ‘I forgot to turn off the stove.’ He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way.
The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. ‘Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform,’ he declared loudly and rushed to the water’s edge to walk across it. When he tried to step on the water, he immediately disappeared under the surface.
Undeterred, the monk climbed out of the water and tried once more with the same result. Again and again he tried while the other two monks watched his efforts.
After a while, the second monk turned to the first one and said: ‘Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?’
‘Let us all cultivate a
‘Let us all cultivate a sense of humour, so that we treat as amusing those things in humanity which would irritate or annoy. Let us be understanding, feeling with our brethren in their little irritations and annoyances, and turn darkness into light by throwing upon it the wondrous warming beam of humour.’
White Eagle ‘Stella Polaris’ February/March 2007
‘If everything goes wrong, just laugh! Just let it have its fling, let it go; but keep your vision upon God and know that all will come right. All will come right - that is the truth!’
White Eagle ‘The Quiet Mind – Just Laugh!’
‘Life is not solemn. Life is full of joy and fun; think of life as being eternal, and that you – a tiny spark of that divine life – are learning to walk a path which is leading you to union with your heavenly Parents. This is the goal of your life: conscious union with that divine love and peace and joy and – yes – fun. Jesus, when on Earth, also enjoyed fun!’
White Eagle ‘The Source of all our Strength – Enjoy Fun’
Wonderful !!! you made
Wonderful !!! you made laugh!!!!
All my love
Berit
(Milan, Italy)
Zenk yo zo much vor making
Zenk yo zo much vor making uz laf, dear Enokia! :big
Love!!!
Maria