Doubts, Faith, and God's Love

Sutra Number: 
348
Heaven Sutra Date: 
12/23/1999

Gloria to Heavenreaders:

Rudy and I go way back. He is really very special and brilliant. The following are excerpted emails exchanged in one day!

Gloria to Rudy:

Dear Rudy, are you reading HEAVEN!? I would love to hear your thoughts and to know your feelings.

Rudy:

Well, Gloria, HEAVEN is great, I guess.

Hmm, I asked if God would tell you my mother's maiden name but got no response. I often hear from God, but then when I really ask stuff, I get silly or Rudy-answers, so I thought I'd ask your God if He knew my mom's maiden name. Many tested Him in the Bible. Gideon, for example, just to make sure He comes in the name of Holy Spirit etc. I am not doubting you or God, but why is it they never seem to come up with specifics, only Love and light and all that? Hmmm…

Gloria:

Rudy, I would never ask God such a thing, and you wouldn't either.

Rudy:

See! I knew you wouldn't! hmmmm I find HEAVEN a bit hmmm not sure I have read enough, but general.

Gloria:

You're right, I won't ask Him that.

Rudy:

You can ask Him! He is pure love! we often humanize God maybe? ..many many times God has filled me with Presence, "anointing" me, wow, on the floor for an hour. Speaking in tongues is good! Thank you, Lord, and the VOID I AM! wowowowow we exist!?

Gloria:

Dear dear Rudy, I would never ask Him that. You ask if you want. What would that prove? I don't ask for predictions, and I don't ask for your mother's maiden name.

Rudy:

Go ahead, ask Him my mom's maiden name. It's sweet. See what He says. He loves us so much. See if He won't. Then what? or is it Him

Gloria:

No, I won't.

Has there been anything God has said in Heavenletters that fills your heart?

Rudy:

Seriously now, I LOVE God, and, of course, all respect, all is due the Creator and the God within, BUT why not ask Him? If He won't answer, well…see, your mind would come up with an answer either way…about why he won't play that game etc., but really maybe I'd be a bit curious … the Bible is filled with stories about those who asked for signs. You might wanna know who it is talking to you!

Gloria:

Rudy, I know Whom I'm talking to, and I know Who's talking to me! I ask you, is what He says truth or not?

Rudy:

OK! Bye, and tell God I love Him. I don't doubt Him. Is He everything there is? I'm going out of town for the holidays.

Gloria:

Dear God, was Rudy playing games?

God:

Of course, he was. Rudy likes to play games, and double-edged ones at that, for he is half serious. He would like to believe I AM and that I am speaking here, but no amount of evidence will convince him of that until his heart accepts.

But Rudy is here to make you strong, Gloria, for you have had your own questions along the way. Through Rudy's little pokings, you see clearly how inconsequential doubts are. Doubts are like little kittens playing with a grand tiger. Often the tiger just swats the kittens away.

Every Heavenreader makes you strong, Gloria. Diane makes you strong. Tina makes you strong. The Nancy's make you strong, and so on. The silent readers as well as the ones who voice questions make you strong. The doubters and believers alike make you strong.

Questions like Rudy's help you to pull your rope of faith tighter.

Every dig at Heavenletters strengthens your belief.

If there were only expressions of delight regarding Heavenletters — if every single person bought HEAVEN lock, stock, and barrel right off the bat — you might flounder and think of doubts for them!

So bless every reader and every non-reader, for they all serve you and Heaven well.

I will ask Rudy some questions.

Rudy, do you feel that light and love are insignificant next to details like your mother's maiden name which you already know?

Rudy, is it possible that you prefer valiant and vain attempts at controlling Me over surrender to Me?

Rudy, would you really want control of the universe?

Rudy, do you feel that We are dueling here?

Rudy, have you ever considered that your head pain comes from your struggle to keep Me at bay?

Rudy, have you ever put it this way: that My love for you is great, and yours for Me is hesitant?

Rudy, I am not a mind-game.

And that is not who you are either.

Gloria:

Rudy also wanted confirmation that You are everything.

God:

I am within everything. Everything contains Me. Another way to say it is that there is nothing I am not, I am all that there is, and everything is an expression of Me. I am everything.

Gloria:

But You are not doubt?

God:

I am not doubt. But doubt comes from the same energy of love that beauty and truth come from. We could say that doubt is truth twisted and broken into little bits. So then doubt is a manifestation of Me, and I am within it.

There is no one who expresses doubt of truth who does not wish truth to be.

How much Rudy wants Me! No one wants Me more. And yet he chooses doubt over faith. He believes in the intelligence of doubt more than the wisdom of truth. Rudy does not know who he is. It's that simple. And he is afraid to know.

Do not get caught up in debates with Rudy. He is My child, and I will take care of him. Rudy would have you believe that he is playing with you, but he is playing with Me. You are very incidental in all this.

Gloria:

Now that this has gotten this far, I feel I have been enormously defensive. Although I feel that asking You for Rudy's mother's maiden name is like asking You for a penny when You want to give millions, who am I to judge what questions to ask or not?

God:

Go ahead and ask.

Gloria:

I really can't.

God:

That is your answer, dear one.

It is not a question to ask of Me, for it tries to take Me down from Heaven and put Me on the human level. It is a small question, asked not for itself, but as a test. Rudy would prefer to have Me across from him, arm-wrestling. The truth is I am beside him, and My arm is around his shoulder. I encompass him in My love. Rudy is truly one of My great ones. He doesn't know that yet. But he will.