You may despair of ever being free of despair, yet you hold despair close to you. Despair is a trick your mind plays. It is a folding crutch that you pull out time and time again to find again and again that it does not support you. Disappear despair and cast your thoughts around the delights that are on their way to you instead. Enough despair. The something more you yearn for exists, or you would not yearn for it. Let thoughts of what you desire dangle before you, not despair.