Judith to God:

Dear God, on reading Your HEAVEN July 24 reply to me over a few times, I realize that I am looking for some kind of special recognition. I don't know what the special recognition would be like if I had it, however. I feel like Cain must have felt when You praised his brother Abel for his innocence and simple heart. Cain was dying for Your love and recognition. He was dying for it so much that he murdered for it. Why do I feel like this?

Why can't I be simple and innocent? How do I drop this crying out for Your love and recognition — Your Presence?

Your words seem to be like halfway points. They speak to me, but I do not know how to engage my heart to meet You the rest of the way, when I cannot see or touch You. You say You are omnipresent, and yet that is a mental concept to me only.

When I do my massage work, I ask Mother Mary to be present and do what needs to be done through me. I try to get out of Her way. I do not know if She responds to me, but I assume that She does and leave it at that. It's still a mental 'game' that I play. I still feel small and alone and in ignorance.

At the same time, I can well imagine what my stupid brain would do if She or You came to me and I could see and hear and touch You. I would probably make a big commotion out of it and praise it grandly and importantly for having such recognition from God or Mother Divine Herself!

What a dilemma! Do You wait for this need for recognition to go away before we can sense Your Presence? I am not too good at having faith, I guess. I was raised in the generation of immediate gratification.

Also, I want to tell You that I am not interested in the occult, as You say I am, but I did need to hear Your answers about my brothers' relationship to me and to You. I will try not to worry about them anymore, knowing that You have them in Your awareness. I know that uplifting my own life will help them.

I also want to ask You if I should continue to go to this class that I told You about previously, or do You think this class is dabbling in the occult, even though they are asking for the blessings, communications, and presence of Christ teachers? Is this the occult?

God to Judith:

Here's the thing. Recognition to one is recognition to all. No one can have more of My love than you do, Judith, nor can you have more than someone else. All have all of My love. There is no more of fullness. Fullness is fullness. Fullness of My love is yours. It is an overflowing cup, My love for you. Oh, if you would accept a drop of it! Will you accept My love for you? Will you drink the water from My hand? Will you let Me pour it over your head? Will you let Me bathe your feet?

I am before you, and you stand with a straight back, an upright back. Bend. You are safe with Me. You can become spineless with me. I will hold you up. Become a jellyfish with Me. Melt unto Me.

What were Cain and Abel but Oneness fighting with itself? Cain represented resistance and Abel acceptance. At stake was their relationship with Me, not one another, do you see that? It is hard for resistance and acceptance to co-exist. In the case of Cain and Abel, there was no winner, no victor. Cain demolished himself. He abandoned himself.

Cain wanted Me on his terms. Resistance wants the say-so. Acceptance bows to God. It was not My favoring Abel over Cain. It was Abel favoring Me, and Cain wanting his own way.

I am God as I am. I am the Wholeness. I cannot be pulled down or apart. I am not a taffy-pull.

My children wait for Me to appear.

I tell you to come before Me.

Take off your defenses and come to Me. Come back to Me.

Surrender yourself.

Be not wary of Me.

I am not the Bullfighter with a cape that will torment you.

I am the Sun that shines on you.

I am the Water that washes you.

Come to My well.

The fight is over.

What was it about?

What was the stringency for?

I call to you.

I say your name.

Say Mine.

My beloved, hear Me. Hear My love for you. Know your worth and hear My love. Disband your army, dear Judith. The only way you cannot have Me is by denial of your worth. You look for Me to show you your worth. I have declared it. I declare it now. You wait for a step from Me. I have taken all the steps. Now you advance to Me. Just do it, Judith. Enough anguishing and wanting. Have. Have Me now. I am right before you. Nothing else is. My love pours over you. I anoint you with My love. That is what I give to you. Notice. Do not deny yourself Me any longer. You make hard what is easy.

Stop striving. Sit still. Disengage that powerful intellect. Tell it to wait for another time. Tell it that I will not harm it nor take anything away from it. I will add Myself to it. Tell it it does not have to worry about your heart submerging it. Tell your intellect that it is not Cain, and your heart is not Abel. Tell your intellect that it is not to guard you any longer, but to let Me in, for I am yours.

You are very good in faith, Judith. You have tremendous faith. Now put your faith in Me and the truth I speak. I will give you immediate gratification. I do give it to you. You duel with Me, My darling. You spar with Me. My love for you is constant. It does not have to be proved.

You are ready right now to receive Me. It is no big thing. I am a lovely Presence, and I am already there.

Think of Me as light, dear Judith. Think of me as Awakening. Think of Me as a buried treasure that you have only to uncover. Take the cover off.

Judith, I do not really know what occult is. It is a word that can mean many things. I suppose I think of the occult as a diversion on the way to me, an interesting side trip where curiosity abounds. More of wanting to know about, rather than to know, wanting exposition of Me more than My presence. More of ego gratification. You have much more than curiosity for Me. I apologize for being so casual with the word. You are right.

Now know that you are far simpler and more innocent than you give yourself credit for, Judith.

You have removed layers and layers of your defenses. Oh, how you have grown! Oh, how innocent you are becoming! No, not becoming. How much more of your innocence you are allowing. You are letting your sweetness and innocence come to the fore. Just a little more, dear Judith, just a little more.

As for the group you meet with, meet with them so long as you want to, so long as your heart wants to. Remember, please, that I am the Teacher. I am within you. Look inside, not outside. No human can bring you to Me. Come to Me yourself.

My beloved Christ brings you to My door.

You have to enter yourself.