I cast no spells. You may be waiting for something entirely different from what you presently experience, but I have told you not to look for experiences. Experiences are incidental. I am paramount. Seek to know Me more than a radical difference in you.

Are you seeking Me or are you seeking something amazing for yourself? Are you seeking to engage yourself in Me, or are you seeking some quotation marks around you? Perhaps you seek to see yourself emblazoned as "holy" or "divine" or "golden" or "enlightened" or "arrived." Seeking a description of yourself has its value, but the value is limited because adjectives and experiences are of the relative. You are seeking more than that. You may just have been looking for more in the wrong places. You may have been looking for evidence rather than truth, signs of Me more than Me.

You have been looking for a sign that you are transformed. Actually, signs will be there, but they are no theatrical production. The signs will be in simple awareness.

I hesitate to mention what some of the subtle signs may look like, for then you may start looking for them. It is better to just let them appear of their own accord. The point is not for you to have the signs or to know what they are. The point is to seek Me the same as I seek you.

Am I truly what you want, or are you seeking the goods you believe I bring? Do not be embarrassed that you want gifts from Me. Of course, you do. It's just that it is better to welcome Me than My gifts. It is better to welcome what I give you rather than some wish in the back of your mind.

It is the same as with an old aunt. Do you want the old aunt to visit, or do you want more the gifts she is sure to bring? Will you be disappointed if the gift she brings is not what you thought it would be? Will she be less available to you because she brought you one thing instead of another? Must you predicate what she will bring?

Mostly in life you are disappointed in gifts, the same as you are disappointed in what you buy. It doesn't quite have the luster you thought it would. The material does not. The finite does not.

I have taught you not to have expectation. That applies no less to Me. I come as I come, and you may appear the same before as after. Maybe no one will know you are full-blast in Heaven with Me. Maybe you will not even know, for you have been looking for some certain thing to accompany Me. All I want is you deep in My heart. Want Me deep in your heart, not the accoutrements that you believe must come with Me.

What care you what comes with Me really? Must I prove My existence to you with wealth and gain?

I tell you truly that what will give you the joy you desire is not what I bring you. It will come from you. It will come from what you give to Me. You give Me yourself, and you say: "Here, dear God, I am Yours."

And when you stand up, you are anew. You are anew because you have left littleness behind. You gave Me all your desires. All the things you wanted, all the glory, all the success, all your hopes, you placed at My feet as offerings to Me.

And when you stand up, you are free of all that has weighed you down. The greatest gift I give to you is to welcome all that you give to Me. And all that you have to give Me is yourself, and you are what I always wanted.