A Little Kindness

God said:

Do not think you have to be tougher. You have to be softer. Have soft edges, not rough edges.

You may think you have been too easy in life, too quick to do what others want, too quick to be walked on, and now you bend over backwards to be unbending to others. You take pride in saying No. You take pride in putting yourself first, as if there is pride in saying No to others, as if a No is virtuous, preferred, strong, and that a Yes is foolish, shoddy, and weak. Why and where did you get this idea? Well, maybe not you, but maybe you sometimes. Maybe not you at all, but someone.

It is fine to say Yes to others. If someone asks for a ride somewhere, what is so wonderful about saying No?

You do not have to be a marshmallow and always go out of your way, nor do you need to be a hard candy who insists on being ungiving as if ungivingness were a noble choice. Do you have to bite down so hard on defending yourself?

It does not behoove you to deny your own heart. I understand that you are set on setting boundaries. I understand that you have been taken advantage of in the past. You don't have to be a melting bar of soap, yet nor do you have to be an abrasive pumice stone. Can you not take each situation one by one as it arises on its own merits?

Beloved, why not have pleasure in helping someone out, whether it's essential or not? Maybe the person who asks you needs a little kindness from you. Maybe you can do a favor and not feel your account of giving has been overdrawn.

Sometimes you well cannot do a service for another. That is understood. Yet sometimes you can, so why not? Why not be a prince rather than a tough guy? Why not be a princess rather than a proud naysayer? Why not be gracious rather than ungracious? It is not wonderful to be ungracious. It is nothing to be proud of.

It is not that you owe someone. You owe yourself to treat others as you would like to be treated. Maybe it wasn't so much a ride that someone wanted as much as they wanted a few more minutes with you. Is that so hard to give?

I am not talking so much about surface manners as I am talking about your heart. You can achieve a balance without becoming hard-hearted. You don't have to be soft-hearted nor hard-hearted. Just be hearted, beloveds. Be glad to do a kind act for another. Be glad you can.

It is not for you to be harsh. It is not for you to religiously say No any more than it is for you to religiously say Yes. But what does it cost you to say Yes? What does it cost you to say No? Which has the greater cost, My beloved?

As you say No more than you say Yes, the Universe gets confused. The Universe may want to grant you favors, and doesn't know how. If you want to be happy, say Yes more than you say No.

Beloved, open your heart rather than close it. Let your motive in saying Yes be not to please others but to please yourself. Don't be a hard cookie. Make life easy. No one is out to take advantage of you. But I ask you to take advantage of the goodness of your beautiful heart. Do not contract your heart as if that were the smart thing to do.

If you think of yourself as someone who is always being taken advantage of, then you are taking advantage of yourself. You are doing yourself a disservice.

I understand that you have been asking yourself, "What about me?" Now, My most dear beloved, I ask, "What about you? And what about Me?"

Read Comments

Can you not take each

Can you not take each situation one by one as it arises on its own merits?

As someone who would give until depleted -- the marshmallow - this Heaven letter speaks to my heart of not saying no just for no sake and pulling back from someone who is 'needy'. For who am I to label someone needy (and this brings to mind the whole notion of defect -- there is truly no defect in the eyes and heart of God)...perhaps it is I who is needy and sees that in another (take the plank out of my own eye) and is resentful for past hurts. This Heaven Letter prompted some wonderful, blessed soul searching and tenderly removing the weeds which choked the blossoming flower of my heart. I shall take each situation, each moment and feel so blessed to be God's Beloved. And in Truth, when I focus on God's overflowing Love for me..there is no end to the giving!
God bless!

If you think of yourself as

If you think of yourself as someone who is always being taken advantage of, then you are taking advantage of yourself. You are doing yourself a disservice.

and that's why you must say no at times to the world and yes to yourself

Yes, Bernie, and yes,

Yes, Bernie, and yes, MarySunshine -

How to get the balance? How to say no without feeling bad. How to say yes and mean it!!!!

Dear Gloria - thank you!

Dear Gloria - thank you! Sometimes the answer lies in just asking the questions!
Bernie - thank you for the loving reminder to say yes to myself when I need to and no to others!
Being able to not have imaginary conversations about saying yes or no when people have made a request and being in the moment and taking each situation as it comes is wonderful guidance...
And feeling so blessed that when I give, I want to give from my heart....
Love to you both and blessings to all!

I worked in a nursing home

I worked in a nursing home as a nurses aide for 15 years. My heart WAS in my work and I enjoyed it but the environnment situation makes that I forgot about myself... When you hurt yourself on the job (like a back injury) where it would be most helpful to get some needed rest, management obliges you to come in and work (a less demanding job)
I had been tired for awhile and one day I had a stroke. My employer has been trying to "rid" themselves of me instead of giving me lighter work. I am a good employee and not some thing to "throw out". God is my witness and I "need" His Guidance for this problem!

I'm sorry if it is not the proper place to write about this but I thought that it ties into today's theme.

Johanne

Johanne, I already know that

Johanne, I already know that your heart would be in anything you did.

Of course, they should be thinking bigger.

Off the top of my head, I think the thing to do is to bless this nursing home, bless the people who work there, bless the patients which you already do, and know that something good is going to happen, not that it has to, but just that you are confident that something good will.

I will think some more. Everyone here would want you to be treated right and not have to strain.

What do the rest of us think?

Perhaps God is redirecting

Perhaps God is redirecting you to another line of work where you can still feel you are caring for others but you do not have to sacrifice yourself and your needs. I know in the US they have laws that protect workers who have been injured on the job or who need special accomodations. Do they have anything like that in Canada? (I clicked on your name to see where you live).
Often times in the US, the feeling is 'you are lucky to have a job so don't complain'. In truth I subscribed to that philosophy at my job for years and felt miserable until I read Neale Donald Walsch's book, Conversations with God in which he says that rejoice even if you are in a bad situation at work if you are staying there to provide for your family (which I was). But I digress...I guess what I'm saying is that if you have the option to stay there, know you are doing so as a choice. I echo Gloria's suggestion to bless everyone and everything at the nursing home. You might also start considering your options.. I know after 15 years it is very difficult to consider a new job plus I do not know how old you are but I started over at 54 years old. Maybe you could start your own business...what are your passions? Be still and pray and know that God will lead the way but also know that you have the power to create a better situation for yourself and you can do so through visualizing what you want and need in a work environment. God would not want you to be a victim and nor do I. You are God's Beloved and the way is being prepared...have faith during your time of uncertainty and darkness...the way will be shown.

And you don't have to get

And you don't have to get sick in order to say no to the world and yes to yourself!

This is one of the most

This is one of the most profound sentences I have ever read. Wow.

Dearest Johanne, Mary's

Dearest Johanne,

Mary's reply is wonderful and so so gentle. bless everyone and everything for God is guiding you. you may be up to something wonderful only that now you can't see it yet, so have faith, for: ".. if you have the faith of a mustards seed....." God is leading along a path to which right now you'd rather say no, but you don't know what's ahead. Trust your beloved Father for it is in these moments that we get a chance to see how we are with our faith in God. how could we "test" our faith and surrender otherwise ?

this here is SOOOOOOOO WONDERFUL what Mary said:

"And you don't have to get sick in order to say no to the world and yes to yourself!"

It's really great ! listen to your voice within, it is guiding you sweet Angel !

In each moment we can decide who and what we are, IN EACH SINGLE MOMENT, we can choose what to look at and what to feel, look for the blessings and divine gifts !

Much much love and a super biggest hug to you and to all here !!!
Berit

1 Heavenletter Haiku for

1 Heavenletter Haiku for you

Hello Friends,

God said be happy
Be glad to do a kind act
Say yes more than no

Love, Light and Aloha!

Thank you so much for this

Thank you so much for this blessed simplicity!

 

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