Where Anger Comes From

God said:

It is good you have a heart. It is good when your heart is centered, when your heart is strong unto itself. It is good when you are content. You would like to be content all the time, and, yet, you sometimes find yourself discontent, perhaps angry, and, perhaps, in terms of the world, rightly so.

It is good to not let your anger run wild. At the same time, anger is a force that it is better to acknowledge than not to acknowledge. Repressing anger is not good for you. There is a cause for your anger, and it seems righteous to you. It may seem righteous to the whole world, and yet anger is anger, and anger repressed is like a pot of boiling water left simmering on the stove. The water is still hot. The water foments. You don't want to lash out in anger, and you don't want to push anger back as if it doesn't exist.

Human beings have anger.

Have I not told you where anger comes from? It comes from judgment. You may well agree that judgment does not work in anyone's favor, and you don't like to hear that your justified anger is a result of your judgment. That doesn't seem fair to you.

Nevertheless, when you are irate, you have judged someone. You have judged a person guilty, and you have passed sentence on another, and you have passed a sentence on yourself. Anger is not in anyone's best interest, and yet it is good for you to acknowledge anger that holds you in its thrall and to recognize your responsibility for what is, after all, your anger. You are the proprietor of it.

The person who may well be unkind, selfish, heartless, rude, self-serving, unthinking, may well be unable to see beyond his or her own nose, and yet the anger is yours. No matter how egregious someone else's error has been, the anger is yours, and it isn't right. The anger is not.

The point goes beyond the idea: Judge not so ye not be judged.

The point is more like this: Judge not so you are spared anger. Judge not so you do not fume. Judge not so you do not go up in flame. Judge not so you escape self-righteousness.

You already know that anger forms a circle. It goes out, and it comes back. It is yourself, beloveds, that you put on the hot seat.

I am not coming here in defense of the one you allowed to incite your anger. If he could or would expand his thinking and his heart, you might not see cause for your anger. If you will expand your thinking and your heart, your anger would drop away. I am thinking that you are much better off without anger. Anger is not your friend, yet anger is a signpost. Anger says to you: "Brother, sister, acknowledge my existence, and then see about expanding your thinking and your heart."

The one whose consciousness stirred your anger may be no more than a poor fool. If he or she is a menace, an active inciter of anger, then he is a bigger fool. Nevertheless, he can see only as far as he can see. It is a question of sight. One who is blinded has not the eyes to see.

You, My beloved, may certainly be expecting too much from someone incapable of giving it to you. You are tilting at windmills.

Come, let's disarm you.

Read Comments

anger

anger destroys one inner beauty. Its like a mole on you body and when exposed, it will grow all over you. kindness and explanation will kill this bug.

Anger reading

I read your message today and am trying to fit it into my life. The situation I have been in is so
complicated- I have had justifiable anger, provoked by a malicious individual who, indeed,succeeded in creating problems in my marriage when my husband- who was placed in a near impossible situation in which he was pitted against me and his children (when there should never have been such an issue and was never wanted by me.)

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to do the right thing by me and I was the innocent victim who became the goat who was then accused of being responsible for the actions of the trouble maker.

(It was an unbelievable turn of events. Just a horrible betrayal by my husband. My anger, and disappointment has caused untold unhappiness and grief that has consequently affected in my marriage which is now consequently almost dissolved. (much to the troublemaker's satisfaction.)

The respect I should have been given and upholding the truth, was nil. The whole family turned on me! Then, my feelings minimized.. (as I was thrown to the dogs) I am beyond hurt and am angry whenever I think of what happened, and it has been the elephant in the living room that just won't go away.

So now, I am packing up and breaking up our little home together which was built on such love, tenderness and devotion we felt over the past 2 decades. There were existing problems before this incident, but we were working them out. However, the incident exacerbated them tenfold. (Now there is verbal abuse.. and substance abuse- drinking that has escalated and lack of respect.) I was unable to forget it and move on, due to the hurt that was so deep, and betrayal I felt as a wife and a true friend. (I have always been a friend to him in every way- loyal, loving, respectful, caring, giving body, heart and soul, and so devoted to him.)

I've been praying for resolution to this problem and for peace and harmony to return to our marriage however, it's just gotten worse and worse- (We were once, not so long ago, two people who genuinely loved each other deeply- We have been through so much together in our lives.. have tenderly nursed and supported each other through serious illness, as well as in good health. We've stayed together through good times and very, very bad, I've supported him in every way I could- heart and soul.

Yet, now, we are unable to communicate at ALL. (He refuses to hear or even consider my feelings - even when I tell him I am speaking from my heart- I've been met with cold, indifference and, or hurtful comments that cut me to my heart.. (" Leave me alone" .."Go away." "I don't CARE how you feel".. )

I am angered by my futile attempts to communicate as the minimization of my innermost feelings has ocurrred. So, 'why' have I stayed and kept trying? (Good question..

1) because I know this person for what he has been over the long haul of our marriage.
2) because l have empathy for his situation and take responsibility (I suppose) for holding on to the anger.. (however.. it wasn't a 'choice')
3) because he keeps coming to me (between the abuse and insensitivity) telling me how much he loves me, needs me, misses me, wants to be together, and really wants to salvage the marriage.. (Jekyll and Hyde.. I now truly believe he is definitely emotionally disturbed from the whole stressful mess, and that he has become very confused himself, and is consequently, also terribly unhappy and suffering inside.)
4) (Because I'm STUPID)
I can empathize with him in his predicament- and know I should also 'just be able to forget and move on.'

I am now an emotional basket case from 'trying to cope with it' and I've physically suffered. the CONSTANT indecision as to 'wanting this marriage' vs, 'a divorce' which switches sometimes from 'day to day,' has understandably caused me to be leery and not want to trust anything he says as, doing so only to then hear 'I want a divorce' shortly there after is too painful. ( 'I love you will never leave you".. " Go away, I don't ever want to see your face again!" .." I love you, I'll never leave you, sweetheart." It's crazymaking. ) Counselling would definitely help, but hasn't been taken seriously by him and he's quit.

So, I'm at a loss and at the most important crossroads of my life. Being an overly kind, empathetic, good soul with high principles who has never wanted to hurt my husband in any way, I only desire that he finds happiness wherever he goes. This is what is truly in my heart. And, I am trying not to go nuts with this difficult decision at hand.

I'd very much appreciate any prayers for 'us,' for 'my husband's health' and for enlightenment and communication to occur in our marriage which now hangs by a thread.

I know, if we were ever to remain together (which seems so impossible, but is still in my heart) that I need to change and be stronger, and learn to establish respectful boundaries . I know too, that if this were possible, it would only be if my husband 'wanted' to change and 'work on his own issues' .. 'learning to communicate'.

I am 65 , he is 71, and we aren't in the best of health anymore.- We're older .. and this seems like a high school drama. (It's embarrassing and heartbreaking as well.)

I believe God can work miracles- I haven't given up my praying, but I'm so tired.. so tired of this constant battle. Please help me to find the best road to take and to be grateful for my many blessings that I have already been given.

Our beautiful world today is in such turmoil and strife. (People have such stress, sickness and much worse problems.. serious sickness, losses of life, war.. violence..) I feel I have no right to complain so much about my own situation. However, my world has been such a hell for me that I'm very much forlorn, miserable and broken down. .

If you have prayers to offer in my/our behalf, please know they will be appreciated.

(I'm ashamed that I'm so old but am so lacking in wisdom. Yet, it is the case.)

Thank you for reading this.
RSS

Beloved RSS, Please know I

Beloved RSS,

Please know I have read what you've written with full empathy. I know how it is. I understand everything you are saying.
I want to think before I respond. I am sure other good hearts will also respond to you.

I would suggest right now that, if you would like to, to read this quite different situation yet what seemed out the writers' hands and impossible to change, and how the answer from God worked a miracle. Here is the link, dear RSS:

http://godwriting.org/godwriting/this-is-a-personal-miracle-in-italy-tod...

Again, I want to be sure you understand I don't think your situation is in any way the same yet I wonder if there isn't something of the same helplessness that underlies all we go through in this lifetime.

God bless you. Thank you for writing. You are not in an easy situation.

More later, dear heart.

With love and blessings,

Gloria

anger

Dear RSS,

Yes I have been married a long time 55 years+ we had difficulties as I believe every one has because we have to learn we were lucky and all is sorted out and we are living the best years of our long mariage.

I believe reading your stoty there is a 3rd person involved that has been stirirng the Pot. I can understand your anger!

I think if you cannot send love to that person at least send light. I know that you will feel better for it. It might still be hard as the hurt is deep. But try and let her/him go. Your husband who is on a downer needs love. If I read your letter correctly send love and think only love as you did before. He apparently was a loving man before so do not tell him but silently keep sending love even if he rants and rages. Be still and send Love. He will get out of it,

Thank GOD for all the good times you had together and try not to get angry when he wants you to. I read as if He is still in love, but can not make up his mind yet. be still and just send love. His ranting is just his uncertainty. Thank God for the lesson God has given you and ask Him what is the best way to resolve it.

I learned to give each other as much freedom as is required and get rid of ownership as in so many marriages. I will send love and light as well and hope all will work out to the best of each of you Let God work it out Love Jack

Beloved RSS, I think Jack

Beloved RSS,

I think Jack has given a great answer. And this is something I try to learn, and that is to say nothing. Be still.

God bless you. Please keep in touch with us.

With love, Gloria