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Spiritual Journey

It's wonderful reading about how we are all expressing the One. Here's my story about where I'm coming from, which is actually nowhere. :D

With love and appreciation,


Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Point of No Return

The other day, a friend asked me if I had ever been married or ever come close to getting married. I said years ago I had a relationship with someone I wanted to marry. We even talked about it but I had a feeling there was something I was meant to do. I remember my partner at the time saying to me "I feel as if I'm getting in the way."

"As much as I would have loved to get married," I said to my friend, "something else took over, which was a lot bigger than us, and ended that relationship."

"You mean Vector8, don't you?" my friend said. (Vector8 is my Soul identity).

"Yes, I guess you could put it that way," I said.

When we broke up I was devastated at the time and tried to get back together and make it happen but I knew deep down that it was for the best.

I believe at that time I had reached the point of no return and once you've crossed that barrier there's no going back.

What is this point of no return?

Before I took a form I, as the one Infinite Self/Soul/Spirit, decided what I was here to achieve as this instrument called Enocia. Soul is therefore my only guide.

For a long time I was happily doing my own thing, living the life I wanted, or so it would seem. Deep inside I had lofty ideas about what life should be like yet I seemed to be doing the exact opposite and was miserable. I had also experienced myself as Light on numerous of occasions yet I wasn't living as Light.

I continued my search for truth. After reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche, I had this strong desire to attend group meditation at Rigpa where I was hoping to explore some of the ideas in Rinpoche's book. It was there I met this wonderful man. I knew there was something about him but we never spoke. A few months later when the centre was closed for the Easter break, I decided to attend a lecture at a venue called Alternatives, where they usually have talks on spirituality. It would be my first visit. My friend from the meditation centre was also there. It was also his first visit. And it was the first time we had a proper chat. After the lecture we walked to the tube station together. A week later I went to another lecture but my friend wasn't there.

During that time I was feeling more and more frustrated with my life. I knew something had to change. I had also decided Tibetan Buddhism wasn't for me so I never went back to Rigpa. One day I said to myself, "If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I'm not coming back. I want out of this life/death cycle now!"

A few days later, I attended another Alternatives talk about healing at a different venue. While I was there I eavesdropped someone giving out a website called Wingmakers. I had a feeling I was meant to have this information so I made a note of it. (When I looked up the website, it had the exact information I needed at the time). While I was queueing up for the talk my friend from the meditation centre appeared. We ended up sitting together. We were asked to link hands so we could all receive healing. My friend sat in front of me. The moment I gazed into his eyes I saw myself as I am, my true self. I made a pact that no matter what I was going to be this self.

I also knew I'd met someone I wanted to be with and eventually marry. While in the relationship I felt like I was in a constant battle with myself: one part was always trying to be my real self while the other was the constant saboteur, which didn't help our relationship. My friend and I eventually broke up. At the same time I knew that my real self seemed to be guiding me in a different direction. I could either follow the worldly path or the unknown where I would find true happiness.

The point of no return occurs when there is a greater pull towards the ways of the Spirit than the world. I believe when I made the decision that I wanted out of this life/death cycle and to be my true self, I had reached that point of no return. Spirit was now in control, though I still continued to resist which caused me a lot of misery.

How do you know when you've reached the point of no return?

When you have a strong desire to live as an immortal, be your real self, be the spirit, or live as Light you're hearing the Voice of Spirit. Of course, Spirit speaks to everyone about these ideals but only those who are receptive can hear the Voice. When you're receptive it means you've reached that point of no return. You can resist all you like but know that Spirit is now in charge. There is no going back. You might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

Spirit will now direct your path according to how He plans to express as you, which is tailored specifically for you and totally unique.

I am Spirit.


Related articles: Person or Spirit?; Who is Really in Charge?; The Body as a Tool to Express Self; All is Light and Light is Love; The Game of Life