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No Regrets

No Regrets

Scott, my beloved…Here you are in your late 50’s…Do you have any regrets? Yes, I have a few. What are they my beloved?

I regret not loving enough. Scott, who did you not love enough? Mainly myself, which I know sounds a little selfish. But, I also know before I knew about your love for me and your purpose for me, I allowed my ego to get into the way of many things in life. Like what my child? Like people who were mean to me or unkind to me. Scott, were you ever mean and unkind to anyone else? Oh, yes many times. Why? Because I did not really show them the love of God. What did you show them my child?

I showed them the false Scott. What do you mean you showed them the false Scott? I showed them the side of Scott that was out for himself at any cost. The side that said he had to compete and win. The side that said I had to earn others approval so that they would like me. And Scott, when you did this…What was their response to your trying to get their approval, or you trying to get them to like you and love you?

It really only hurt myself I think? How do you feel it hurt you my child? How was going outside of yourself looking for this approval from others hurtful to yourself? It wasn’t fulfilling even when I seemingly got it…that’s why? Why did it not fulfill you my child?
Because it could not fill this deep cavern of emptiness within. What are you referring to my child when you say a deep cavern within?

Did you ever find out what that emptiness was? Yes, but it took me until my late 50’s to discover it. And, what did you discover my sweet child? I discovered I had wasted all those years for trying to please someone who never really cared about me. How do you know they didn’t care about you? Because, after I would do the thing or actions that would win their approval they didn’t care. How do you know they didn’t care? Oh, they might have been amused by me, or laughed at me, or with me…but in the end I never really pleased them.

Why were you trying to please them my child? Because I did not feel good about myself. Why did you not feel good about yourself? Because I felt inferior in some way. In what ways did you feel inferior my sweet child? In all kinds of ways. Like what? Can you give me a for instance? Yes, I could give you many instances. Can you give me a few where you tried but seemingly failed? Yes, I think so. Okay, please try so that I can understand with you. Okay?

Well, one big one is that when I was younger, say about six or seven, my dad wanted me to be a baseball player. I liked baseball too. At age six he bought me a baseball glove, my first ever. Back then, you would oil the baseball glovel. This was oil that softened the leather and it was used by the major leaguers… the pros of baseball.

Well, anyway, I wanted to play too. My dad saw this and honestly tried to help me. I was a typical young boy who wanted to please his dad…I guess like any child wants to please his parents. Yes. Well, I wanted to please my dad too much. What do you mean? Well, I wanted to be the best so that he would like me. You mean your dad wouldn’t like you if you did not perform well for him? Yes, but now I know that is stupid. Yes, but you are a young impressionable boy of six. You haven’t lived a whole lot of life and you were not grown up or experienced enough to know any different. Yes, that is true .

So, tell me what happened to this little boy of six? Well, I would try and try, but, it seemed that whatever I did could not please him…it was not good enough for him. Did he try to instruct you and you took this as correction or something wrong with you? Yes, I guess. I took it like this…I wanted to be the best for him, and in doing so; it was just never enough for him from my younger eyes.

How do you wish it could have turned out? I wish I would have known that my deepest hearts cry was to be recognized for who I was, and not, for what I could be, or do, if I was good enough. Were you ever good enough in your dad’s eyes? No. How did this make you feel? Like I was not good enough and that my dad would not love and appreciate me for who I was. And, who are you?

Back then as a child, I did not know who I really was. Do you know now? Yes, of course I do…I think? What do you mean by I think? Well, now I know I am a piece of you and the world. I woke up in my 50’s after a lot of failures, and blaming’s and shaming’s of myself and others. What made you awake my child? You did. How do you know I awakened you? Because, I started to reflect on my life for the first time ever and wondered what the hell was life all about?

And what happened when you did this inward reflection? I looked back on my life and I said internally…What are you doing Scott? What is life really all about?

What circumstances surrounded you at this time? What was the catalyst to cause you to go into this inward introspection? Dissatisfaction with myself. Dissatisfaction with my lack of happiness and fulfillment. Have you found this happiness and fulfillment now my child? Yes, it is becoming clearer to me…I see flashes of the true reality of life. How did you happen to come upon this understanding my child? I stopped and said internally that something was major wrong here. Something was not right?

What made you discover your dissatisfaction my child? My feelings! Your feelings? Can you elaborate for me what you are saying here? Sure, my feelings were sad…is that good enough? Yes, I am asking you these questions not for my sake but for yours. Yes, I know that. So, please continue to tell me, your God, what kind of feelings were manifesting for you at this time in your life? Okay…Well, I felt unfulfilled, unhappy and confused with my life. Ah ha.

I looked back on my life and reflecting on it, told me that I was not satisfied with it. Okay. The only thing I can tell you is that I knew there was something more and I didn’t have it! How do you think, or what gave you the idea that there was more to life? I don’t know, maybe from you? Yes, I was the originator of this thought for you and I put it into your consciousness. I looked at you and saw you struggling as if you were drowning in an ocean. I came to rescue you from yourself.

You did? Yes, I did. Thanks. You are always welcome my sweet child. You and me have never been separated do you know this? Yes, I know it now, but at the time I did not know it…I was searching though. Wonderful. I like the characteristic and attribute of a searching heart. Why? Because a searching heart tells God, that you have not found what you are looking for yet.

Scott, a quick side-note here. Number one. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for listening to your feelings for once in your life. Why is that important God? You found out that your feelings, when you connected to them, and were willing to listen to their message, that you were honestly dissatisfied with your life. Is that not true ? Yes, that is true . Why did you now start listening to your feelings?

Well, God that is a good question. I know it is. I realized that every time I tried to please others, it did not please me or fulfill me. I guess part of my introspection happened when I hired my life and business coach. Why did you hire a life coach? Because for a couple of reasons. Okay. One was because I wanted my mortgage business to go to the next level? Yes, what do you mean by the next level? Well, I was kind of a one-man show. I wanted to get bigger, and better, and to make more money God. And? I found out that as hard as I tried to take the mortgage company I owned to the next level it did not satisfy me?

How did you know it did not satisfy you? Because, even when things were going pretty well and I was making pretty good income for me and my family it did not satisfy this inward longing that I had? And, did you find out what this inward longing was my child?
Yes, I did God. I found it! Where and how did you find it? I found it partly by this sweet life coach that I hired to help me take my mortgage company to the next level…or so I thought. What do you mean, so you thought?

Well, she must have seen some of this inward struggle I was having. How did she know? I told her. Ahhh…Now we are getting somewhere! What do you mean? Scott, you let down your façade of the un-authentic self, the ego you, and you were vulnerable enough to bear your true st feelings with her. In other words you were honest with her, were you not? Yes, I was.
What happened after your process? It was a very powerful awakening to me? Can you explain that to me? Well, kind of. Okay, do your best. I will. All I can say is that though this process I gained insight into my true st feelings. Do you want me to tell you the whole thing? No…just the highlights. Okay, Well, I was reminded of a scene in my early childhood where my dad and I were playing baseball and practicing by him hitting me ground balls. He was hitting me grounders and I was to field them and catch the balls that were being hit by my dad. How did you do? Not, very well I thought. What made you think you were not doing well my child? My dad was hitting them quite hard to me, harder than I thought he should have for my young age. How did that make you feel? Not good. Why? Because when I started to get hit in the chest or a ball would nearly hit me in the face with a “bad hop” I would want to run from it and get out of its way. So, why was that a problem?

Well, my dad told me to block off the ball as this is what the big leaguers would do. And how did that make you feel? Like I was scared, but I wanted to please him so much I did it anyway. Why didn’t you tell your dad that? Because I wanted to please my dad. Why? Because I guess I wanted him to love me and respect me. And, what have you found out?

I could never be good enough for him? How did you find this out? Because whatever I did in life didn’t seem to be good enough for him. At least that was my understanding at this impressionable time in my life. And? And, this was my first reliving of that moment again.

What happened once this experience was relived? It made me cry. Why were you crying my child? Because I thought as this young boy I will never please my dad and that must mean I am an abject failure. Why would you internalize this event as making you an abject failure? I don’t know…it just did. So, then what happened in this process my child? I was taken to this serene campfire setting and as this young child I was to bring my dad and anyone else to this “campfire” of consciousness, as I call it today, and I was to empty out all the feelings I was feeling at this time in my life.

I was to talk directly to my father and anyone else I brought to this conscious campfire. Okay, who did you bring to this campfire? Well, my dad for one. Anyone else? Yes, I brought my mother and older sister Susan as well to this campfire. Okay, what happened next? I was to speak with my father who was across from this young boy at the tender age that I was. Okay. Also, the present day me was there too. What do you mean the present day you? This was who I am as an adult today. Okay, why? Well, because the present day me was to be a witness of the event and he would have a chance to voice his feelings too.

Well, the younger me was supposed to empty out my true feelings of what I was really feeling with this event or memory of the past that came into my consciousness. Okay. So, I began to tell my father how much it hurt me that he was hitting the ground balls to me so hard. That it was not fair to me at that age and that I was not capable of fielding the balls he was hitting to me. And what else? Well, my dad was supposed to speak back to me after I emptied out all of my feelings. And, how did your dad take this?

He was sorry, and he told me that he was doing it for my own sake. He told me that his dad hardly ever saw any of his sporting events and he was not going to make the same mistake with me. And, how did that make you feel? Better. Why? Because I had a deeper understanding of why my dad was hitting the ground balls so fast to me. Why?
Because my dad wanted me to be better than him. He wanted me to grow up with a dad that was interested in him, unlike his own father. Yes. And just the fact that I saw this insight made me realize that my dad was not being hard on me to just be hard on me. He was trying to give me something that his dad, who was absent, was not able to give him. And, how did that make you feel? Wonderful. Why wonderful? Because I saw my dads heart for the first time.

Then what happened? Well, once the younger me how emptied out all my feelings verbally at this campfire, and I felt I had said everything I could say, that I did not say at this age, I felt a change. What kind of a change? Did you feel better? Oh, yes. Was that the end of it? No. What happened next? It was time to forgive my father for the seeming act of inconsiderateness to this young boy. Meaning to you? Yes, the younger me. Were you able to fully forgive him for his behavior even though his actions hurt you at the time?

Yes, I forgave him completely. Also, I had a chance for the present day me to express and empty out all my hostile feelings towards his indiscretions too. How did that go? It went well. I was able to finally express all that I never expressed to him in person. Why did you not express to your dad fully when you had a chance to as this young boy, or even as you got older? I had tried to forget the whole thing. And did your trying to forget the whole thing serve you? No, I carried it with me on my shoulders the rest of my life. Why did you do this my child? I guess, because I was not willing to express my truth to him for fear he would reject me.

And what did you learn from all of this in the process? That I was untrue to myself by not expressing my true st and deepest feelings to my dad. Was that your dad’s fault or yours? Mine. My dad didn’t know what or how that event in my childhood felt. Knowing what you know now what would you do to express yourself better? I would just bear my heart to him even if it seemed to wound or hurt him. Okay, why? Because, now I know that I was not being true to that little boy. How did you know this my child? Because I was finally able to express my truth and my feelings to my dad. You mean the truth set you free?

Yes, saying and expressing the truth set me free to be me! Then, after the present day me forgave my father and said everything he wanted to say at the time, but couldn’t, he had to forgive him too. How did that make you feel after the younger you and the present day you forgave completely your dad? Unbelievable! I felt free! I felt as if I weighed 50 pounds lighter. Wow, 50 lbs. is a lot. Yes, that is what it felt like to me though. A huge weight fell off me that day.

So, was this the beginning of the awakening of your soul? Yes, it was. Wonderful. Are you completely fulfilled now? Well, I am still getting there. I realize that it is not a one time thing, but a process or journey, if you will. Yes, I will. It is a journey isn’t it my child? Are you starting to figure out that your journey is endless and you will never really end up at a final destination? Yes, God. It is hard for my human mind to fathom it, but yes. Are you up for it Scott? Yes, I think I am. My heart says yes. And, Scott, that is all I require. I only require that your heart say yes to me. This willingness, truth of self, and openness will take you there. Scott, just stay as a child before me. Be teachable, pliable, and bendable. When you don’t know where to turn…turn to me. I have the experience you need…I have been there, and done that! I can be your greatest asset if you will but let me. Notice, you have to let me. I will never force my way into your life. It goes against my universal laws that I have established. You must take the initiative to invite me along with you on this wonderful journey. I say wonderful, because that is exactly what it will be with me as your divine partner. Absolutely Wonderful!

Scott, so I hope you have enjoyed this conversation with your God. Yes, I have enjoyed it immensely.

I will never leave you or forsake you….I love you dearly my beloved! My love is endless and everlasting…nothing can separate us. Do you know this? Yes, God, I believe it. Yes, but do you know it? Yes, I know it!

I am so in love with you my child,


Wow, is it really possible

Wow, is it really possible to converse with God like this? Eventhough I had some problems in reading it and discerning when it was Scott and when it was God speaking, I just loved it all. Did this conversation take place at the computer or in some other way?


Safe in My arms you're only dreaming. -
Al sicuro tra le Mie braccia state solo sognando.
Love is the Answer.-Amore è la Risposta

Hi Angel Paula, Yes, It came

Hi Angel Paula,

Yes, It came to me in a coffee shop at a computer when I was at Panera Bread In Arvada, Colorado where I live.

It was quite fantastic as it came to me. It was a conversation just like you and me would sit down to have.

It flowed beautifully and as you can see quite lengthy. I had no idea when the conversation started where it was all going to end up.

That is the beauty of inspired writing or Godwriting tm.

Much of what comes out of it is divine and some of it that comes out is human. Call it divine-human. That is who we are really isn't it?

Divinity in a human body.
The conversations that I had with my father at the campfire were exact.

The beauty divine process and healings. is that you get to empty out your feelings and forgive one another.

It reaaly was a glorious experience as God asked me questions and responded to my thoughts. Tears welled up into my eyes several times as this dialogue was happening. I am sure if someone were watching me they would have wondered what was going on.

During these Godwritings tm or dialogues with God I just try to stay relaxed and focused on what God really is saying to me in my heart. I emphasize the heart because this is where I gently hear the words of God coming into my brain. The words don't come to my mind first...I believe they come into my heart first, and then are processed by the brain. I know this might sound strange but I really believe that is how these words come to me and through me.

I am blessed that you were blessed angel Paula....

I love you,


Dearest Scott, this is a

Dearest Scott,

this is a wonderful and amazingly beautiful conversation with God. I'd love to have been at that coffee shop and just be beside you. The campfire is a wonderful way of speaking to each other, and I must confess you that while reading your conversation with God, without wanting to do so, me too was sitting at a campfire talking to my beloved mother. it is such a beautiful way to meet each other. I think reading your Godwritings and this conversation helps us to get into the same vibration or state of beingness and if we wish to we can make these wonderful experiences.
The question-answer was important for it helped you get things clearer for yourself and I love and enjoyed reading this way of conversation very much. These conversations at a campfire are indeed so freeing, we can let go of all that which is not love just because we are meeting on soul level and we have a totally different understanding and feeling. Especially in those cases where a clarification is needed, where for some reason or other we have still some negative feelings of which we'd better get freed, if we want to express our highest self and our aspects of divinity.

You made me think of the little Berit I was and indeed it is astonishing the amount of things kids do not share and hold to themselves. I mean things that are scary for us or which embrares us or what ever it may be. I remember some years ago talking to my mother about a thing I was really afraid of when I was a kid and she was stunned and asked why the heaven I had never told her, she would have helped me of course. Well I really think I didn't tell her because I felt stupid having such fears and it really never came to my mind speaking openly about it.
Richard Bach has written a book where he adult talks to himself as child, I don't recall the title now, maybe Running away from safety, but it's a wonderful book. In the beginning it seems that it is Richard the adult who has to save the Richard child, but there's a lot more to it.... a wonderful book !

Dearest Scott, you are a wonderful Heavenly messenger and I thank God the blessings He is showering on all of us in, as and through you !!

Love and a big big hug to you

Thank you Sweet Berit, I am

Thank you Sweet Berit,

I am glad you were blessed with this dialogue with God. I know I felt blessed while having this unique converstaion of heart at a coffee shop...of all places. :)

It looks like you are very familiar with this "campfire" of consciousness yourself?

That is awesome! I have had much insight at this campfire myself.

Love and Blessings to you and yours!


Very dear Scott, You don’t

Very dear Scott,

You don’t know how much teaching comes to light, through the dialogue that you so openly share! I’m very moved by it. Just like yours, my insecurities and low self esteem, stem from way back when, when I tried to please a parent.

This form of intense dialogue, I once had myself with myself (now I know it was God) after I couldn’t understand the ‘why’ of a series of events that went wrong, were happening to me in spite of my good will and positive thinking. The questions went deeper and deeper until……bingo! The answer was there! It had to do with humility. Then the question was: why was I to be humble? And the answer was that in that state, I had surrendered, emptied myself of pretensions and will power and was therefore open to receive and soak in, the tremendous love and compassion of a lecturer (Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross) who was in town giving a seminar. Once I had that realization, a wave of gratitude and joy overcame me and all the previous troubles became insignificant.

Thank you so much, Scott!

Xenia, what beautiful

Xenia, what beautiful insights!

What a blessing you are to humanity!


What a wonderful experience

What a wonderful experience dearest Xenia, indeed an important lesson I think. When we are humble and surrender God divine Love and Grace and flow without end. It must have really been an overwhelming moment. I am so glad you had this wonderful blessing dear.

What a wonderful experience

What a wonderful experience dearest Xenia, indeed an important lesson I think. When we are humble and surrender God divine Love and Grace and flow without end. It must have really been an overwhelming moment. I am so glad you had this wonderful blessing dear.

Thank you dear Scott for

Thank you dear Scott for sharing this precious dialogue with God. It is a rare gift to actuate the voice and feeling of our innner children...and God, of course, is so tender and patient with the "coming out" so to speak of this inner child. I find myself...that I am this inner child...more and more. and this inner child, Jimi, in this profoundly close to I honor Jimi more and more...God is honored more and more. E.g.: Jimi absolutely loves to write about God and give Jimi plenty of time to do this! Jimi is really smart...and more impoartant than that...very, very loving and patient with everyone. E.g. I work in a little retail shop in Sedona, Az. and Jimi loves to greet the a genuine, kind way...he loves to connect with love them and honor them. And then he loves to go to Starbucks and love people there...He is still a little shy...but even that part is endearing. He is always loving people...that's his heartfelt job...which is really play. He is also very sinsere and never kids in a mean way...he does not really kid at all. He also has his own web site which you can see as well. He absolutely adores peoples hearts...and he says that even if people are acting mean...they still have hearts.
Anyway...thank you dear Scott for this beautiful dialogue and for speaking in this personal, tender way...this is the way of our true identity...this inner, sweet, loving, kind and wise Christ child that we are. Loving you and all who read this. Jim and Jimi.

Each new moment is like a sacred prayer bead...held lightly and lovingly.

Wow, Jimmi, you are blowing

Wow, Jimmi, you are blowing me away with your heart...
I love is the Christ heart in you.

Let this sweet Jimmi's light shine...I love you sweet Jimmi. :)

You are so like your Father-Mother God!



Thank you Scott. Yes...Jimi

Thank you Scott. Yes...Jimi is as his Father-Mother God but in tiny form (yet I suspect we are all One anyway...but it is fun and sometimes just practical to differentiate!) Jimi says: Blessings to you dear one Scott for being so willing to come from your tender heart cause that's where God lives. He lives other places too but his home base is in our hearts...yours and mine in particular and other people's too. Isn't it beautiful that we carry thiis living altar, aka heart, with us all the time and can commune with it any time we wish cause that's where God lives. (Churches have very nice, heart-filled altars too...but it's even greater to have a portable altar-heart with us all the time...wherever and whenever we go) God's real fun too and always nice. Loving you always, Jimi. ps have a beautiful, heart-filled day and know that whenever you love someone else....your cup is immediately filled up again with the love of God. I said the word cup but it is really your heart. Jimi. pps...I love to love God well as all of his children...

Each new moment is like a sacred prayer bead...held lightly and lovingly.

Wow, Jimmi, our two hearts

Wow, Jimmi, our two hearts beat as one!

I love your idea about the portable altar too. :)

That portable altar is with me with you!


Dearest Jimi, I love your

Dearest Jimi,

I love your pure and honest and sweet and gentle way of being and of sharing your love with us. What a wonderful gentle and loving soul you are !!!
God bless you


Thank you sweet Berit. I

Thank you sweet Berit. I think God made us this way...but most people get so entranced with the outside world and what others think...that they dare not go within cause maybe they think they might be out of place or wrong or appear too different....(or maybe they think they might get in trouble with spiritual people in churches that appear to be more spiritual or smarter than them)..just easier to go with the ordinary way of living...(which is quite bizzarre cause its so external goal oriented and so jam packed with stress and guilt and difficulties and so much shame and hurt) But...if one dares to go within and dare take a taste of peace and good-will and gentleness...if one dares to do will come back for more and eventually live from this very peaceful center called the heart, if you will. pour forth the love that lives there (in your heart that is). I live there all the time but occassionally Jim gets spun out of sorts with his mind...but I tug on this shirt sleve and bring him back! Back to the well (ness) and purity of his heart which is really God's heart which is really all off our Heart. Loving you, Jimi.

Each new moment is like a sacred prayer bead...held lightly and lovingly.

Jim, I for one personally

Jim, I for one personally love the way you express yourself. :)

Thanks for being the authentic you, who you really are. :)


Thank you Scott....It has

Thank you Scott....It has taken quite a while for Jimi to feel comfortable enough to express himself this way. I could also say that it was taken quite a while for Jim to feel comfortable enough for this Jimi aspect to express this way. One could also say that Love is out of the closet for me. Love, of course, is never to be flaunted...never used for show...never on parade...but the fullness...the overflowing of the heart is more and more evident in my life...One could say that Jimi is doing could say that Love is doing could say that Godd is doing it. It doesn't really matter...the words that is. Having said all that...there is still a safety factor...I do express in words more...when I feel it safe to do so...and when I feel that the reader is respectful of what is being conveyed...Another way of saying that is to use discernment in sharing. Anyway...thank you inviting these words to be here. Know also that you are in my heart...the Heart of All of Us. Loving always...Jim and Jimi.

Each new moment is like a sacred prayer bead...held lightly and lovingly.


Beautiful words...Jim...Jimmi... :)

Keep playing with Jim....Jimmi... :)


Sweetest Jim and sweetest

Sweetest Jim and sweetest Jimi,

how glad I am that came to this Heavensite. I feel so close to you and you express yourself so beautifully and accurately, love this here so much:

But...if one dares to go within and dare take a taste of peace and good-will and gentleness...if one dares to do will come back for more and eventually live from this very peaceful center called the heart, if you will.

It is exactely what I'm feeling and experiencing and what I was thinking about. I think it's the healthiest addiction we can get.

Infinite soft and gentle love waves to you.