Believe in Us
A spell of unhappiness comes from your not honoring yourself. A sense of self-worth does not have to be allied with ego, you understand. When you have the solid awareness of your worth, you do not need ego.
Whatever the occasion for your unhappiness, it stems from your own lack of regard for yourself. The world may point this out to you. You feel that you do not matter to the world. You feel that the world does not value you. People in the world may cause you to feel small and unloved. Your heart is crushed.
It is likely that you are reliving scenes from your childhood, and you relive them time and time again. You are on an escalator from the past, and you can't seem to get off. You have the insights, and yet you find yourself stuck in the drama of the past. It is as if you know only one script.
You feel you have to stick up for yourself, and you just don't know how to do it. You seem to feel at the mercy of the world around you at the time. The world does not always treat you right. You may not even realize fully until after that you were disregarded.
Alas, it seems to you that your well-being depends upon the regard of others, and this does not always work too well. And yet you more than once seem to be caught off-guard.
You are innocent, and yet you set yourself up. If you did not have great expectations, you would not have such great disappointment. You are still looking for the pledge of love from others that you perhaps didn't receive when you were a child. And now you would like to receive this past-due love from others, and you are let down time and time again. And you become distraught. Life starts to feel meaningless to you because some others seem to regard you as meaningless.
It would also seem that no matter how well you are regarded in certain quarters, one wounding from anywhere pulls you down. Again and again you learn that the world lets you down, and that you let it. You rode a horse of promise, and you got thrown.
You know you must break this cycle, and yet this cycle seems to break you.
You feel like Humpty-Dumpty, and that you will never be put back together again, all because a little part of the world seemingly withdrew its respect and love for you. They loved themselves instead. They were honoring themselves at your expense, so it seems. And yet you are the culprit for relying on the world to feed your heart. You know you cannot put all your eggs in the one basket of the world, and yet you find yourself doing it once again and again.
Of course, your heart will mend. It always has.
Others may have acted from their own self-interest, and it wasn't fair to you. Nor is it fair to you for you to feel so wounded and take it so hard. You know that too. And yet you feel so wounded.
Your issue goes deep.
You feel betrayed. What was supposed to be is not.
You feel you no longer matter.
Even though you know you matter to Me, this does not seem to be enough.
And so We come back to your relationship with Me. Your deep distress comes not from this one or that one. You may not have recognized this as yet, but your deep distress comes because you feel apartness from Me. You feel exiled by Me, deserted by Me. You feel I wasn't there for you.
In truth, what do you care what this one or that one thinks of you? What you really care about is how you and I tango together. Your fear of abandonment is the crux of your unhappiness.
Believe in Me. Believe in you. Believe in Us.
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