All the whys and wherefores put you on a treadmill from which you can never get off. So long as you look for reasons or THE reason, you go around in circles. You race nowhere. All you know is what appears to be. There is the sense in which you need to accept that there is no cause. B does not always follow A or lead to C. This acceptance can free you to move on in a new direction of thought and life. Reason lies on the surface and does not go beneath.