Nancy O. to God:

Dear God, You are so delightful to work with! I thank you for the little lesson I had in allowing my sprained ankle to heal quickly with my decision to move forward and put my attention on You. And thank You for helping my friend be cured of her illness through the Lakota ceremonies.

I have so many questions and I thank You for addressing them in our cascading conversation.

Society gives us many roles and some of them are as family members. We imagine that we have obligations to all those whom we love as family members. But not all family members are loved equally. Should we leave friends, relatives, others in the past the same way we do ex-husbands?

I guess the implication is that if we love someone, we should love them forever and that means staying connected, etc. But at the same time, we know to grow we need to move on. If we are in the present now with other people's children, new friends, closer relations with certain relatives, etc. do we just move our attention to them? And what are the obligations we have to them, and to the old group? We only have so much time for friends, relatives, projects, etc. It always come to this question about loving forever… There is a tension between this and what society expects of us, or rewards and criticizes us for.

I know there are things that I do because I am expected to. I know that You do not just want us to do what we want, or what is easy. Sometimes I am sure, it is important to do for those we love even when we don't feel like it. Can You give us some ideas about our obligations to others and to our own growth and those we bring into our inner circles to support us in that growth?

God to Nancy O.:

Dear Nancy, I want you to do what's true. Your heart keeps connections. Outward motions don't.

I ask you to be kind, but I do not ask you to pretend.

I do want you to do what you want. I do want you to do what's easy. I am not for effort.

What is this exactly that you feel you owe to society? I do not believe in obligation. It doesn't work. If you oblige someone (which is doing something for them without your true heart in it), you may not really be obliging them, although they or you may subsequently feel that something is owed you.

Judgment says that something is owed.

Owe yourself truth and joy.

Is it love that comes with duty?

I do not even say that it is My children's duty to love Me. What a shallow thing is duty.

I say My children do love Me, and it's time they found that out, not for My sake, but for theirs.

What gain is there in spending time where you don't want to spend it?

How much of the world are you supposed to be taking care of, dear Nancy? When could you satisfy this requirement? How far does it go? Does it have boundaries, or have you given yourself an impossible task.

I do not say to you to ignore relatives and family. You can grow with them. You do not have to stay where you are with them.

I do say, don't take them on as a burden. Obligation is burden.

You do not need to do anything that the world asks of you. The world will never be enough pleased, for one thing.

You have your life to live. Others have theirs. Live yours, and let them live theirs.

Yes, sometimes you do something for those you love even when you don't feel like it. Maybe a mother doesn't feel like getting up in the middle of the night for her child. Maybe you don't feel like cooking. But you like to give a return.

Whatever you do, as much as possible, do with love.

When you cook, do it with love. Don't bang the pans.

When you visit someone, do it with love. You don't have to stay long.

And you cannot visit everyone in the whole world.

For those whom you may feel obligation to visit, they may feel obligation to have you. For what purpose is that? Blind motion.

That is insightful of you, moving forward and healing your ankle.

You know it is I Who heals.

The Lakota ceremonies helped your friend accept her healing. So it is I Who heals and oneself who participates in the healing. The love of the group helps healing through the power of its attention. For love is the greatest healer on earth. And what is love but a level of attention that sees far beyond the mere physical. Love is stored in the heart and comes out from the throat and eyes, but it is the heart's love.

The ceremonies gave My love through all the participants to your friend. We could say that the ceremonies are like harnessing the horse, and everyone gets on the wagon.

It is not exactly the same, forgoing an ex-husband and a family member. An ex-husband you can finish with. The contract is over. Family contracts seem to be in a different category in world terms. But in all cases, it is you who lets go of your emotional entanglement. You free others and you free yourself.

So you can put all family and friends who do not fill your heart into My light and bless them, and walk into your own light with Me, dear Nancy. Work your life more from the inside than from overt action. Save yourself wear and tear. Let Me take care of what is difficult for you.

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Joyce M. to Heavenletters:

Hi, Gloria, I appreciated yesterday's Heavenletter, November 7, especially how God spoke of preferences: "So long as you have to uphold your preference as right, there will be battles." I can see that when I have an opinion, however beautiful or true it might seem to me, if I cling to it, it becomes a resistance. Thanks for sharing Heavenletters!

God to Joyce:

Beloved Joyce, you are just right.