Gloria to Mother Divine:

Dear Mother Divine, this thing of controlling or being controlled is really an enormous issue.

Sometimes I think I am controlled most of the time! If someone says something, and I feel uncomfortable, then have I been controlled? If they say something that makes me feel good, am I not then also being controlled?

Mother Divine:

When you are at the place of equanimity, you are fully connected to God. If what someone says or does swerves you from that place of connection, you have been controlled. You have allowed it.

Gloria:

I am not sure I always know the difference between being controlled and led. I want to be led.

Mother Divine:

When you choose to attend a concert where the music you like is being played, you choose to be guided.

Gloria:

In choosing, am I controlling?

Mother Divine:

You make one choice in life, and that is for God or for less, for Home or for wandering. That choice may have been made many times.

Listen to God as best you can and follow His ways.

Gloria:

In the meditation I do, we are taught to start, and we don't control the meditation, thinking that one experience is better than another and looking for that.

Mother Divine:

That is good recommendation for life. Start and let go, and not judge the occurrences.

You drink a glass of water. You choose the temperature of the water, the glass it is in, how fast or how slowly you drink it, but you do not control the path of the water once swallowed. That you leave to trust.

And trust is of God.

When you speak of comfort or discomfort, they may not necessarily result from control but may relate to safety zone. God can shake you out of your safety zone, so comfort and discomfort can be no more than inclination and disinclination. Consider whether the comfort or discomfort you pick up is squeezing you or expanding you.

Gloria:

I had a small thing the other day. I went out my door to get the mail, and almost literally bumped into a neighbor who was using my yard as a walk-through. I am not accustomed to going out and finding someone in my yard. Add to that, she saw my rash, and backed away from me in my yard like I was leper, and she said, "You ought to have your doctor check you out for Lyme disease because that starts with a rash." Mother Divine, I felt intruded upon by this lady, first her using my yard and then her trying to put fear into me.

Mother Divine:

Intrusion is control.

Gloria:

How should I have handled it?

Mother Divine:

Laugh at her if you can. And cast God's white light on her.

Gloria:

Dear God, I know a lovely couple who are in a tight situation. The husband ran up a debt of six figures in school loans. He excelled at school and earned several degrees, but so far has not made a financial return from any of them.

Meanwhile, the wife works and sees no way out of their debt. Naturally, she would like to be taken care of and supported.

The husband has taken a few jobs which are so far from his dreams and his reality that the jobs don't last. My sense is that his heart is not in them in the first place. I think he is someone who has to have his heart in what he does.

God:

You are right. These are two lovely people who see things quite differently. The wife is certain that her view is correct; it is the mainstream view. The only way out of their financial difficulties that she can see is for him to get a job and make a dent in their bills.

The husband wants his wife to be happy and taken care of but not at what he sees as the price of his soul. Each tries to control in his own way. She by saying, Get a job. He does to please her, and then doesn't keep it.

There is an obvious and a subtle tug of war going on here. And no one wins a war.

The husband is concerned with heart and doing good for the world first, and then the practical aspects will follow.

The wife is concerned with security and the practical aspects of life, that they be taken care of first, and then he can follow his heart.

Although wed, each has his own heart to follow. They are not two other people. They are these two. One cannot "make" the other anything.

At present, they undermine each other.

Their issues will not be solved on the basis of the issues. Their issues get stalemated again and again.

They can ask Me for help, and they can shine My light on one another and relax their positions. Each holds on so tight, as if for dear life.

Hold on to Me and give sway. The husband will start moving on his own initiative, and that is the only way he can move. He will take hold of his life when the wife relaxes her hold.

They can succeed, and they can be happy together, or they can be happy apart. That is one of their choices. I would vote for their staying together with freedom.