When you experience your world as tumultuous, stand back a little from it. Standing back a little is not backing away. Become an observer for a while. Take a minute to look at yourself and what you are in the midst of. In the midst of may not be where you belong. You may have been hesitant to take a look, so attached are you to battle.

You resist whatever you resist because you resist. There is no other reason. To be sure, reasons and causes can be found, but there is no reason to put yourself through what you often do.

You can participate, but that does not mean you have to be caught up in the fray. You can disband discord rather than entering it and jiggling it further.

You have free choice. This does not mean you have everything the way you want when you want, but free will has greater meaning than you have given it. Your will is free. It costs nothing. You give up nothing to choose differently. What is your will? What are you choosing over something else?

When you are caught up in details between you and another, you have married argument. What do you think you would be giving up if you stop?

When you do not feel love, stop for a second and ask yourself: "What can I do or say right now that would undercut this disagreement that I hold onto so dearly? What is it, indeed, that is mattering so much to me right now that I cannot let go of it? What do I win if I do win this argument? What have I gained? What victory is there, and what is its reward? If I win, what will I have lost?"

What do you think is at stake when you are caught up in important-seeming trifles? You may think you are fighting for something, but often you are merely fighting against nothing. Ultimately, it is yourself you fight against.

That has to be so or else you would not put yourself through all the things you do.

If your perspective has been skewed, you can begin again. What is it that you have felt you absolutely must have?

Perhaps you feel you have something vital to say. What is it? And to whom?

Perhaps you feel you must be heard. Why is that? Who must hear you, and why?

Perhaps you feel your opinion must count. Who must count it?

You are the one who speaks to yourself. And you are the one to honor yourself. Your opinion must count with you.

If you wear your hair a certain style, you do not require that everyone wear their hair the same style. You know better than to expend your energy on such a thing. And yet what do you expend your energy on? Why has it become so important to you that someone else sees something the way you do?

Tomorrow you may see differently anyway.

There is nothing you have to hold onto. No idea, no opinion, no outcome.

What if you become the listener to another?

What if you graciously hear what they have to say?

What if you count what they have to say as important as what you have to say?

What if you were kind and understanding and genial? And why not be? Why would you choose anything else? And if you chose something else, why would you continue it, My beloveds?

Come now. Be friends. Let trivia go. Make room for greatness.