Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed herself
into
all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications
such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
Racing
3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but
the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please HELP!

Thanks,
A Troubled User
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Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM
and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible
to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under WARNINGS -ALIMONY - CHILD
SUPPORT. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes, Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be high maintenance. Wife
1.0
comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It
1.5, and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improperuse will
cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!!! DO NOT under any circumstances install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.