Come Out of the Shadows
It is understood that sometimes you have unwelcome thoughts. Sometimes you hear yourself parody yourself and mutter negatively under your breath at yourself, as if you were an obstructionist rather than a friend to yourself. You snipe at yourself. You find fault with yourself as if your purpose is to mock yourself and tear yourself down rather than build yourself up.
Rebuild your loyalty to yourself. Be a fan. Appreciate your presence. Never mind your errors. Let them go. Be not a self-accuser of ill-doing. Make life easy, not heavy-duty. Let lightness be your theme. Be light of heart and full of heart. How did life get so serious that you can't get past your mistakes? Sometimes you count them over again and again and pin your mistakes up on a bulletin board as if you must have them to indict yourself and keep yourself down.
Better to build yourself up. Must you be your own opponent? Must you be an old crabby teacher you once had instead of a loving one? Who is the best teacher you ever had? She or he saw something in you that you are now to see in yourself. As you treat yourself, you treat the world. No more mud-slinging. No more punishing thoughts to lash yourself with. Be kind to yourself. Be welcoming. Forgive yourself your trespasses. Forgive yourself your inexorable fault-finding. Release yourself from bondage. There is no virtue in flattening your spirits.
Upon what smallness do you blast yourself with? Is this extreme disregard you keep yourself in -- is this some kind of contorted ego? Is it some kind of alter-ego that wants to keep you down? Get up before the count of ten. If you cannot be the best of all in this moment, at least don't allocate yourself to be the worst of all.
You can forgo mistakes you have made in life, the mistakes that plague you, the mistakes that were for vanity and that overlooked your own self-regard and/or the regard of others -- all the times you wanted to prove that you were right and someone else was wrong, all the times you were performing, all the times you feel shame-faced about now, as if your mistakes in life make you unworthy and punishable by self-persecution. You just can't get over your mistaken ideas and where they led you to. Get those nagging thoughts out of your mind.
A big mistake you make is to encumber yourself now with thoughts of errors which you cannot undo. What you can do is let yourself off the hook and start anew. You may prefer to penalize yourself rather than to be an outright fool, yet, who but a fool would punish himself because he didn’t know better? Can this be some kind of ego impairment making you squirm?
Many mistakes come from some kind of ego misrepresentation of yourself. This is more embarrassment than guilt. Instead of letting the embarrassment go, you may build on it and never forgive yourself. Let go of vanity and forgive yourself. You said something unnecessary and now you continue to condemn yourself. Once a fool, always a fool you think, and you won't let yourself get out from under.
You had an image of yourself that you did not fulfill. This is a role you play where you star in failure instead of honoring what I have made. I made you in My image. I did not make you into this debilitating ego state of yours that you beat yourself up into.
What is self-punishment but a life sentence you impose upon yourself?
Tear up that arrest order you propounded against yourself. This is arrested development. Get unstuck. Give yourself a break from old perception. Come out of the shadows.
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