You equate coming to peace in life with coming to peace with loss and death, the main issues you consider important.
What coming to peace with life really means is coming to terms with the unholy concept that life will not always go according to your will. When you come to terms with that and the little impish things in life, you will be at peace. The larger matters will then take care of themselves.
Come to terms with the ice cream cone that you drop, the errand you forget, the bus you miss, the foolishness of other people, and all of these little droplets of life that bore into you. Escape aggravation over them, and you will have practiced how to deal with what you call the serious areas of life.
Of course, you do not consider these little interruptions in your life momentous. In theory, you wouldn't take them seriously. There will be another bus, another ice cream cone, another opportunity to commit your errand. After all, if someone asked you, you would certainly know what answer to give. You know what is momentous and what is minor.
And yet you treat minor incursions as though they were major. At the moment you are faced with them, you feel as if your life depends upon them. Your life — your LIFE! — thwarted because something wasn't what you had wanted and thought proper.
What is it really that makes you feel frustrated? What causes all the distaff emotions you struggle with? Whatever the scenario, what is the cause of your frustration?
Something didn't go the way you wanted, or the way you believe it should have gone. It cannot be undone. You cannot undo it. You can't backtrack and change it. You feel powerless. That is the crux of your frustration.
You are indeed powerless when you get caught in the thrall of a tiny incident in life.
It is not the frustrations in life that make you feel frustrated. It is you. Time and time again you come up against a dead end, and you are taken by surprise. You didn't see it coming. You didn't know you would drop the ice cream cone, etc. The cone shouldn't have dropped. The bus should have waited for you. The computer should do what you want it to.
Did you really think you were supposed to be in control of things? Did you really think it was all up to you, that you were to orchestrate the bus, the computer, the people around you, and that when you don't succeed, you have failed? Do you think that when annoyances happen, that you are not loved?
Think deeply a moment. You wonder how life can fail you or disappoint you or throw a monkey wrench at you IF YOU ARE TRULY A LOVED BEING.
That is the crux. You do not believe you are a loved being. Someone or something has loved you but only so far or for so long, and then they cast you away, or so it seems.
And deeper down, you feel that it is I Who does not love you. You fear that the God of Love has forgotten you, or put you aside, or put someone else in front of you, or let you down. Somehow you feel shortchanged.
If you could know — and, of course, you can — that you are a loved being and that you are especially loved by the Most Loving of All, incidents or non-incidents in your life would not dismay you. When your car gets a flat tire, you would recognize that air went out of the tire. You would see it simply as that. You would not take it personally. You would not kick the tire. You would not curse. You would not feel that the Fates had denied you, or that somehow you were a dismal being because a tire had gone flat, and you were now going to be late.
And you would not beat your chest when your girlfriend chooses another over you. It would not be earthshaking. You would know that was her choice and her life, and yours now is to wish her well and move on. You would know that it is only life at that moment. It is nothing more.
Oh, all the energy that goes into frustration over protuberances in life that you make big!
Count the day fortunate that does not irk you. Count the day fortunate that does. Count yourself fortunate, for that is the truth. You are a fortunate loved being, loved by the Master Loving Being of Them All.
If you knew that you were so loved, what could disconcert you?