I clicked a name on the online users list as I sometimes do. Getting to that person's profile, I usually click "Track" to see that person's posts if there are any. In this case, there were many and I chose one that led me to Heaven #2082, "Into the Castle". Quite shocked, I read what seems like a mercilessly clear and precise snapshot of what has been my situation for much of my life:
In some way, taking offense has been comforting to you. It is like a fix you are used to. You get your insult today, proving how you are mistreated, proving how the world is, proving that you are underestimated, and what a shame that is. Somehow, as weird as it may seem, you go to your cell door and wait for your daily slap or two.
And in the very next paragraph, this Heavenletter states exactly what I feel is where I am right now:
Begin to know your value. And even when you don't yet know, make preparations to move into the palace. Think of how it will be.
Only weeks ago, I might have felt as if under observation, even stalked. I would have found it hard to not become paranoid. But the more of these experiences I've had the more of them I get, and I start feeling cared for in a way I have never known.
"Lift a stone and you will find me there."