In response to today's (12-3-07) heavenletters, I wrote something about fear in response to a comment by Gloria. I thought I would rewrite it here...and maybe something new may emerge that will be helpful for so many people wrestling with fear.
Fear for me used to be a constant companion. I remember way back in about 1976 in fresno, Ca (where i lived at the time), standing on a street corner waiting for a bus...and being in so much fear. Why...the immediate response that comes to me is that people would see me...that people would not like me...that people might say something mean to me...that people would wonder why i was taking the bus...did I not have enough money for a car? Even going to the store and buying something...would the clerk like me?...etc, etc etc. So much crazy, irrational; fears...always present...they would never leave me alone! But somehow...now...gradually...the vast majority of my fears have withered away. And why? Gosh don't know for sure. I could respond in so many different ways...But the central answer may be this: That somehow, inside...II never gave up on loving God...(although at the time I would just call it Life or Hope or whatever)...Inspite off everything, even though at the time, I didn't really like myself or for that matter few other people..or even God.I still would focus on something that I did like...and that seemed to help. A few years ago, i could honestly say that I began to feel love in my heart...which has increased in frequency and strength until today. So...now...somehow...love seems to be my constant companion...for the most part. On ocassion, I will have a ripple of fear come through me. So what to do? Love it...Not love it to destroy it...but just love it to love it...as GOD WOULD LOVE IT...Does not God love everthing and one? So I do this...or maybe God does this through me. The love feels like it comes through my eyes and my fingers. i love everyone and maybe that sounds silly or stupid or just plain corny...but it is true. If anyone else would like to share about fear and love...they can if they want to. Love you all. Jim and Jimi (Jimi is my inner child)