Let Us say once again that what you see as a deterrent to your happiness may just as well be a blessing. There is that aspect inculcated from the past and the views of the world that surround you whereby you determine what is a blessing and what is not. When you can even admit the possibility that a development you did not want could be a blessing, you bless your life.
You come from a bias. You have two viewpoints. You call one view Beautiful and another view, Ugly. You call one matter Good and another matter Bad, and the whole world agrees with you. How, then, can you be mistaken?
Even as resistant as you may be, in afterthought, you may well come to see that what you thought was detrimental to your life turned out to be a blessing. You went through heartache and later saw that you had wasted your heartache on what later revealed itself as a blessing in disguise.
You cried your heart out. If you could go back in time, if you had been agreeable to not suffering, you might have leapt with joy, for now you see that you averted greater suffering.
Beloveds, this is not to say that you will always see value in everything at first glance. It has happened, however, that the lack of success in an area that wounded you so terribly became minor when a deeper tragedy occurred. In fact the lost success may have become impossibly minor to you. This points out to you again how relative life in the world is.
In childhood, when a doll breaks, it is a tragedy. It hurts like a tragedy. Later in life, no one has to tell you that a broken doll was not a tragedy. A tragedy is what you see as a tragedy, and you have been trained to see tragedy all around you.
I do not say you have to come to peace with all events in life, yours or others. You just kinda have to take heartache in your stride. You don't pretend heartache away. You also don't have to make a shrine to heartache. Beloveds, you cannot hold onto suffering forever.
Life may never be what it once was. Your whole family could be wrested from you in one wave of the ocean. Life will not be as it once was ever again.
Be assured I do not ask you to pretend you see differently. I am not hard-hearted. I am not oblivious to what you go through. You have the choice to suffer forever and many choices in between.
I understand that you have experienced serious unremitting heartache. I also say that it serves no one for to stay there forever. Suffering does not serve you, and suffering does not serve those who have gone on before you.
Bitterness and varying kinds of heartache do not serve the Universe. No matter how unmitigating your circumstance may be, suffering serves suffering. Suffering is not a servant of God. Nor are you to kneel to suffering in your life as if you are a supplicant and fulfiller of suffering. This is not your role in life.
There is a time when the only next step for you is to put suffering aside. Your loved ones are meaningful and precious to you, yet suffering is not holy. Suffering is not love. Keep your love, and let go of suffering. You have had enough suffering. Suffering is not a gift to your loved ones. Love is not meant to equate with suffering. Step out from suffering. Give life a chance to renew your heart, your beautiful heart.
Life may hurt, yet life is also the healer.