You ask the utmost of yourself, and, much of the time, you find yourself wanting, as though you lack and will never come out on top. Sometimes, it seems that no matter what you do or how much you give, you see yourself as lacking. What an ingrained futile habit that is, especially when, in actuality, all you seek is already right here within you.
What if you would look at yourself as moving forward? What if you would give yourself credit for all that you put forth? What if you are already ordained?
Sure, it may seem that in some ways you are too forgiving to yourself, making idle excuses, for instance. On the other hand, you are also an ogre of a taskmaster when it is yourself that you are task-mastering. You seem to have an insatiable appetite for being under-pleased with yourself or even impossible to please when it comes to you.
Of course, you are far away from touching what you most desire. It is still ahead of you. Your hand cannot even point to it yet. You keep losing your place as you might lose your place in a book. You don't know where you left off. You may even forget where you are headed.
Let Me tell you something. You don't have to reach nirvana or any of the words you use to describe this State of Being you so ardently crave. It is enough right now that you long for greater and reach your hand for it. Sometimes you reach for it where it is not. For sure, what you seek is not outside you somewhere. You may be lured away, yet you are never far at all.
All you seek is within you. Anything else that you may think you must possess, as if essential, is only an accoutrement like a Gucci purse or a necklace or even a crown on your head or a title next to your name.
If you were born to Earth, which you most certainly were, you are well-qualified. No one is more qualified than you. You are equally qualified with everyone. There is no way you were born without the Spirit of God. No matter whatever your physical or mental form may lack, your capacity to break out and reach for Me and find Me as your Self is established. There is no getting away from your ability to find Me within.
You don't have to know the word nirvana or understand it. It is already yours. You may not see it, yet it is yours. You may have to peek through a curtain, yet what is a curtain but a piece of cloth? A piece of cloth is not iron. And even if My Spirit within you were put aside behind an iron door of beliefs, My Spirit within you is still vibrant and accessible. In fact, it is still uppermost in you. My Spirit with you is inescapable.
There are no limits that can prevent you from accessing Me. Beliefs can be undone. They are undone every day. You can be an arch villain who has covered Me up with a heavy blanket, still, I am within you, and I proclaim Myself as your Self. Yes, of course, you can trick yourself, yet, do not delude yourself. All the wily tricks in the world are not the final say of you.
No matter how much you may wish to sweep Me under the rug, you can't. No broom or new fancy vacuum cleaner can accomplish the reducing or disappearance of Me from your heart.
I am patient, and I can wait. Horses cannot keep Me away from you. Hordes of loud rowdies or silent villains cannot take the Gift of Myself one centimeter of an inch away from you. You are susceptible to Me, the truthful Allure of Me. I am irresistible to you. This is built-in. You will surrender. You might as well give up the fight now, for you only fight your Self and fight yourself for no good reason at all, and, beloveds, you cannot win this one. The cards are stacked.