Odds are that you see offense where there is none. Odds are that you see a picture from your past rather than a picture from the present, and you unconsciously react to the picture you see in your mind and not to what is before you. The person before you, somehow, reminds you of your mother or your father or a sister or brother who didn’t value you. You continue to feed on the past sacrilege of you. A pattern appears in your life, and it’s hard to shake. You feed upon what once was. You are looking for justice from an innocent party.
On the other hand, someone can take offense at what you say, and you are standing there with your mouth open – “Wha…? I absolutely meant no offense. I wasn’t putting you down. I had no such idea in my head. Not at all.” Now you feel discounted because the person you were talking to transposed an earlier offense from his past onto you and faulted you.
And, in turn, when you are offended, your interpretation is also far off. It is like there is a little camera within your mind that overlays the actual snapshot with a camera shot from the past that was and should not have been.
Will you admit that you are sometimes too quick to take offense? You can trace what triggers your upset. What offends you falls into certain categories, most often in areas of your competency.
You were misjudged unfairly once, and now you claim an offense directed at yourself simply because you are hearing an echo in your own head. You yourself are the ventriloquist. You heard a voice in your head. You thought you were hearing it right when, all the while, you played a trick on yourself.
If long ago, a parent communicated to you that you were not competent, wow, are you quick to see somebody telling you now that you are not competent. Your mind may click into something further back, way further back. By golly, you are going to stick up for yourself now, and, so, you over-react.
If you really come across someone who is bullying, you don’t have to eat it up. You don’t have to set the person straight. He didn’t do this to you. He may even be a stranger to you, and you take massive offense. You have nothing to gain.
How circuitous are words you sometimes hear. You’d better know that sometimes you take remarks amiss. And if somehow the person did mean for you to be contrite, then you may know the person was reacting to you as if you were someone else from his or her long ago past, just as you yourself have done.