To be kind without showing you are being kind is a great skill. The way to perfect it is to always be kind. Then no one will feel singled out. Everyone wants kindness, yet no one wants to feel pitied or condescended to. So you must be kind without being conciliatory. It is not that you are being kind to someone. It is that you are always kind. Invariably kind. In every situation you are kind. What a lovely Being you are.
And what is kindness but understanding? The person across from you has had troubles you don't know about. You don't have to know what their troubles were or are. In every instance, truly, what is there for you to do in life but to be kind? Certainly, there is room for more kindness.
Even when you have to say no, you can be tender. You can make yourself clear, and still be gentle. Please do not equate gentleness and tenderness with weakness. It is weakness, beloveds, to be otherwise. Indeed, it takes strength to give ease in a world that is sometimes comfortless.
A soft voice is heard better than a loud voice. A loud voice may startle, but a soft voice is listened to. Who in the world of men cannot use more softness? I speak of the giving of it as well as the receiving of it.
There is no need to be rough in order to make your point. Roughness doesn't win the day. You may say as an excuse that you have come to the end of your rope, beloveds. Don't come to the end of your rope, and then you will only be kind. Put out fires when they are little. If you must take a stand, come from a stand of kindness.
This is not to say that you tiptoe around. To be direct is kind. To be direct is respect. Respect is always kind. Good manners are kind. To be considerate of another is kind. Do not let any opportunity for kindness pass you by.
Even when you are by yourself, be kind. Do not grumble. Do not complain. Complaining is like running in place, and you don't go anywhere. It's like stirring the soup without turning the burner on. It is non-productive.
Let every action today be kind. Every thought, every word. And if that is too much to ask you, then at least have no thoughts nor words that are unkind. No abrupt responses. No retorts. Responding only in kind when it is kindness you are responding to.
Beloveds, if you did not try to control, you would be kind. Kindness would happen of itself. If you did not feel you had to change someone else, how would it occur to you to speak sharply?
This doesn't mean you would agree with someone when you don't agree. It would mean you wouldn't take offense. Your inner response would be: "Oh, okay. That's how they see it." And impartially you would state your point of view. When all are free-wheeling, where would friction exist. How could it exist?
It is yourself that you call upon to be kind. It is yourself that you ask great kindness from, not anyone else. You do not order anyone else to conform to kindness. Sooner or later, however, your example will sink in, and all you know will follow your example. What a powerful example of manifestation that is. Someone else becomes kind without your having to tell them to.
All kindness will come when you give up the need to defend yourself. Then it will be easy for you to express yourself in all kindness.