Today, I remembered...
it doesn't matter.
I've struggled with negativity since I woke up this morning.
Been wrasslin' with it, negotiating with it, trying to ignore my
mood. A lot of work for something so inconsequential I'd say.
The reason depressing thoughts and feelings don't matter
is because they aren't real. All of the disastrous scenarios
I was envisioning earlier today, the litany of my failings and
failures I was checking off my mental "bad Suzanne" list are
purely imaginary, completely made up.
Would you like to know what pulled me out of my downward
spiral so I could remember the truth? I went to the bank.
Carmen, my favorite teller ever, saw me and smiled. Aah, that's
better. Then she motioned with her head for me to come over
to her window. She jokingly asked if I did my deposit right (this
is a running joke between her and I). We chit-chatted and I left.
As I was walking back to the car, I suddenly realized how silly
it was of me to have spent any time being down today. I was
in flannel pajama pants and a comfortable sweater. I had money
to put in the bank. I'd spent the morning playing and working on
the computer and listening to some of my favorite music. I am
soooo lucky to live the life I do!
What doesn't matter is most of the negative thoughts and
reactions we are so quick to buy into.