There comes a time in life when you recognize all that you are and all that you are capable of. At the same time as you soar, your feet touch ground, and you no longer see yourself holding the importance that you once had. You are stronger than ever, and yet you don’t exist. You are a cipher. You don’t know where you are or that you even are. In the act of discovering yourself, you discover you have flown the coop. You have flown away somewhere you know not where. You never existed. You were mistaken. You only thought you existed.
The realization that you are not can be disconcerting. You thought you were going to become exalted, and you find you have disappeared. This great enlightening has been a world reality check. Why, you are nothing at all. There is nothing left of you. You are invisible to yourself. You cannot locate yourself anywhere.
Then it must be that you are everywhere. How can you be everywhere and nowhere at the same time? How can you be nothing and everything at the same time?
The sunlight is so bright you cannot be seen. The sun is in your eyes. You are more than you ever thought you were, and still you are nothing at all.
Has the idea of enlightenment been a fraud perpetuated on you?
Have you been nothing at all right along?
You cannot find yourself. You would like to look up at the stars and see yourself, and yet you don’t see yourself in the stars. You embrace the stars, but where and what are you?
Were you ever? Did you ever exist? All that you thought you were – was it a false image? Were tricks being played on you? Were you playing tricks on yourself?
When you go through photo albums, you wonder who that person is that seems to be so full of himself. Once upon a time, that’s who you thought you were. A body surrounded by other bodies.
A terrible thing has happened. You can’t see yourself. You amount to nothing. You can’t see anyone else either. You are blinded by the Sun, or is it that you were blinded before when you thought you could see? Have you been looking at the TV? Once you were a TV star, and now you, the you that you believed in, has disappeared before your very eyes.
You see your hands typing away, yet whose hands are typing away? What are hands doing there, moving there, fluctuating there, connected to the keyboard there? They are as much you as the keyboard is you. Everything has disappeared. The whole world disappeared when you did. Will it ever be found again? Will you ever find it again?
You are waiting for something to appear.
The way it is now is that you can’t even see Me, sense Me. You sense a void... You may even feel that you have been left holding the bag.
This long-touted enlightenment takes some getting used to. Of course, it does. The whole world is floating away with you on it. You are unlocatable. Nothing is locatable, and where are you or anyone to locate the world or anything at all?
You feel as Rip Van Winkle must have felt. You went to bed. You think it is the next morning that you are rousing yourself, and yet you discover that, in Earth time, it has been years and years. In your case, it has been eons.
You have heard that to find yourself, you have to lose yourself. You seem to have lost yourself, and, yet, you are nowhere to be found.
You ask yourself: “Where am I? Can I be found? Or, am I lost forever? If I am in God’s embrace, when will I feel the warmth of His embrace? Am I no longer able to?”
It seems that you have been lost forever and will never be found again. Why do you have to be found somewhere when you ARE?