Nancy O. to God:
Dear God, I am truly humbled by Your love for me, for each one of us. I thank You for being the only constant in this sea of change. Sometimes we see the world in negatives, and what is not, and what we don't have and sometimes we see the world in positives, with all the wonderful people around us who are so kind and generous, those many who like Lauren (in the September 19 Heavenletter) happily walk the extra mile. I have always loved the Bible stories of Jesus and am very thankful for those who wrote about it for future generations to understand. I hope I can go the extra mile for You today.
I have a question about kindness. We probably all agree that being kind is important. It certainly is an essential starting point to most relations, because it reflects a positive openness. But then there are people who are nice. I work with a man who is very nice. He says everything in a nice way and some people would think he is kind. But I think he is very much out of the flow, he puts obstacles in people's way with extra rules and never goes the extra mile and wants recognition and appreciation for everything he does. I always say to my co-workers "it is not about being nice", meaning that this behavior is a mascarade for kindness, but it is not coming from the same place. I try to be cheerful, respectful, but short with this man because I believe he is disruptive in our office, all the while being very "nice". Kindness is a generosity of spirit and nice is about getting attention. They may look exactly alike, but they feel completely different.
But sometimes in my efforts to not be this phony nice, I think I am too short with people who know me well. I am not always kind in my daily behavior, although I always support my people and they know I love and appreciate them. When I have a lot to do, which is most of the time, I tend to be direct.
But many people notice that I am not as nice as the man in my office. What advice do you have for me about improving my behavior to better fit Your ideal? I remember once when my son was younger that he noted that I was really nice to strangers and impatient with him. Now I wish I knew that I didn't have to care so much about the feelings of others, but should have been kinder to him.
In total awe and humility,
Your loving daughter, Nancy O.
God to Nancy O.:
Your question makes Me think, dear Nancy, how to answer you.
It is absolutely true that what people appear may not be their truth. So you see a genial co-worker on the surface, and beneath the surface, you see other than geniality. And there are gruff-seeming people with hearts of gold. There is much in relative life that is false front, that is appearance, and not truth.
But you will be in truth, dear Nancy. Your inside and your outside will concur.
It is important that you care about your staff and that they know you care. But that is not enough.
Although I tell you your role is not to please others, that does not mean that you do not consider their day-to-day feelings. If you know that your staff needs more consideration from you — that they need reminder of your caring for them — then you want to present yourself repeatedly on My behalf with love that they can see.
Their ego is not your prime concern, but I am, and I would like everyone you meet to know that I dwell in you and I dwell in them.
The accomplishment of your work is vital, but the feelings of others are more vital. Consider that your purpose is twofold: to accomplish the outer work and to refill the hearts of your workers who are, in truth, Mine.
Before your work day begins, bless all the people you will come in contact with. Send My light before you. Send it to this colleague who spreads strife as well.
When you meet with your staff, use their names. Add thank-you's to memos you send. Give good eye contact. Listen to your staff. Be kind. Be very kind. The little things are not little things, and the little things go far. The people are as important as the papers.
Say yes a lot.
Do not be peremptory. You do not have to be all-knowing. You do not have to be perfect. Ask them what they think. And listen. They may save you much work. Show your confidence in them. Trust. Give them more responsibility. Take your hands off. As you relax, so will they.
Tomorrow morning take in some pastries for your staff.
Dear Nancy, I am not telling you to become a Pollyanna all of a sudden, but you can wage a campaign that will uplift all those around you.
What if you don't accomplish one day? What will happen? Remember that you work for Me. And all your staff also work for Me. When you feel quick or impatient, remind yourself for Whom you work.
And what you noted about your son as a child. Oh, dear, how many mothers I know who love their children more than life itself, and yet their good manners and patience go to others. Now remember that all are My children, and there is not one who would not love to be looked at as if they matter. From now on, you will do this.
Have not regrets.
You can tell your son what you feel.
This is a lesson that all learn, not to take for granted. I am the only For-Granted on the face of the earth. All others are tiny drops of temporary dew that need the precious moisture of love. Now is the time to give My love, and to be in My love, and to know the privileges that you are granted.
Thank you for your humble openness, Nancy O. of My heart. How tender are We together. And how strong. The strongest of all are We in Our tenderness. I know you are a melting heart, Nancy.