Lauren to God:
Dear God, this is a question about relationships with men. I met the most wonderful guy on line. He makes me laugh, happy, and has brightened my day many times. He has the right exact wit, sense of humor, and he's smart. Just someone that you just want to be with. But he just kind of all of a sudden stopped. My question is: what happened?
It was hard for me for a couple of days. If he had told me or given any kind of closure, it would have been easier for me. It may be he went out of town, but… what was this? Why did it happen?
One thing it has made me realize is I want to have a lot of people in my life who bring me joy. I don't have enough of that. Maybe I need twenty people sending me emails that make me happy. Then it wouldn't matter so much when one drops out.
A friend of mine said this man got scared. I can say to myself, Oh, it's his loss. But because of my history and background with men and my father, I often feel there is something wrong with me, and I was able to keep it hidden only for a while.
God, sometimes the men who are really interested in me, I'm not as interested in them. What's with that, God? I don't think it's just that I don't appreciate what I have. I do appreciate.
I really am worried that there are aren't that many great guys out there with intelligence, sense of humor etc. And I worry especially that there isn't one right for me.
God to Lauren:
Dear child, you are wanting a man to validate you. That is giving too much responsibility to another. Your life does not depend upon how any man ascribes you. If twenty men adored you, dear Lauren, you still would have nothing. All the wit in the world is insufficient. The world could give you everything, and you would still have nothing. You have to remove your heartache and not rely on a man to do that for you. A mere man cannot do it for you. I can do it, but you turn from Me. Why is that, dear Lauren?
I am not telling you to abandon the world. You love the interplay of the world. I say, Love it. Love the interplay. Have fun. Enjoy men of wit and sensibilities when they present themselves to you, but do not ask so much of them. Nothing depends upon them. Yes, you want that kind of affection but your wanting is an issue of control.
You don't like neediness in others.
Get rid of it within yourself.
I do not say to resist your heart.
I say, Don't place it falsely.
Don't place it so easily.
Don't be so eager for a mere man to fill that vacancy in your heart. I tell you that he cannot.
Let go of that prescription you make.
What do you seek more? Proof of love or proof of your unlovability? Seek neither. Seek to love yourself.
The computer cannot give you love. It can give you distraction from your need or slight swabbing of it. I will give you everything, dear Lauren, but you dissuade yourself from Me.
Yes, the men who are interested in you may not have your whole heart, but not because they are interested in you, but because you seek Great Romance and Drama. You also may seek to prove that you are unlovable. Perhaps you have a need to prove your unlovability. Why is that, dear Lauren? Why would that be?
On one hand, you pull men to you. And on the other you push them away. Make your peace with men, Lauren. It is an old story. Forgive your father. He really had nothing to do with you. You will do well to let that picture of you as a forlorn one go. Let it go.
So long as you need a man to fulfill your image, you are using men. Either to prove your worthiness or your unworthiness. And see how men fail. Again and again, men fail you. Either way, they fail.
Love cannot be bidden.
Love occurs.
Do not be so eager.
Do not be so distant.
Have fun, dear Lauren, but do not even hold on to fun.
Look at love more the way you look at fun.
You are fun.
You are love.
Honor yourself.
And it always comes back to you and Me, Lauren.
I am interested in you, and you refuse Me.
Who is responsible for that?
Would it really be so hard to give Me your heart?
Do you, when it comes down to it, blame Me for all that did not go your way?
Are you angry with Me?
You avoid Me.
I step in front of you, and you ignore Me.
You say you just can't face Me.
I do not find you wanting, Lauren.
You find Me wanting.
You cast Me away before you even look at Me.
What is it that you think I am?
Do you think I am an abandoner?
Do you think I am a misleader?
Do you think I am a betrayer?
Do you think I will lead you astray?
You lead yourself astray.
A hand is held out to you, and you say you don't need it.
You say you can do it all very well, thank You.
It is a little tiny thing to turn to Me.
You carry a yoke that I will gladly take off your shoulders.
Give it to Me.
Make My heart happy.
Do it for Me if you cannot do it for yourself.
I do not break your will.
My Will is not opposed to yours.
Move forward into My arms.
I will catch you.
You have My love forever.
Give Me a little of yours.
Look up and see Me.
I am your True Love, Lauren.
Protest all you want, but you can't change that.
Have Me first, and then all else will come.
And if it come not, it will matter not, for it was blown-up.
I do not know how any man would turn away from you, Lauren.
I also do not know how you turn away from Me.
* * *
Nancy O. to God:
Dear God, I am thankful for Your guidance, for Your constant love, and for reminding me to be in the present. Yes, as You say in the November 4 Heavenletter, I can release my ex-husband to the past.
Once before in the past I was holding onto a lost love and I realized that I could never be with him in this life, so I decided I would hold him aside for some other lifetime. By promising myself that I did not have to give him up entirely (just this lifetime!), I gave myself the space to release him in this life. Eventually, I came to realize I didn't need to do anything with him in any other life either! I was free.
Yes, I am getting closure on this relationship too. It just is not as clear for me. Not harder or easier, just not clearer, like the earlier one. I think it is because we were married and there is so much stigma about staying together no matter what. He will not stay out of my life, and I keep getting taken by him. And I am really angry at myself for letting him get to me.
But I have moved into the present and at this point have a wonderful new boyfriend. You have told me to accent the friendship aspect and I am. We are living in the present and I am putting all things past behind me as I move forward. I am trying not to plan for the future as much as to stay here in the present and just enjoy it!
Thank You for Your constant love, Your loving counsel, and Your willingness to allow Gloria and each of us to communicate with You directly.
Your humble and loving daughter.
God to Nancy O.:
It is My pleasure to commune with My children.
And, yes, release your former husband. But pay not so much mind to your internalization of what you imagine society thinks, for even society would say to release your ex-husband.