Gloria to God:
Dear God, what you told me to do yesterday, October 6, really worked. I was easier with myself. I enjoyed whoever I saw whatever their state of mind was.
I made a discovery, dear God. I discovered a mean old lady inside me who told me not to enjoy myself. She was ready to disapprove of joy. I could feel her, ready to stop any joy. Who could be happy having such a drag inside of them? Who wouldn't get tired? I do not know who I internalized, but there was this negative instructor inside me who could not be pleased no matter what. Now that I am aware, I intend to get rid of her. What a pain in the neck!
God:
We can call this voice inside you a personification of all the programming you have had. Lifetimes of programming that taught you were not good enough, not possibly good enough for anything at all except pain. Now you will be free of that and you will, further, not pass that heavy sense on to others. Now you will consider yourself worthy of joy, and so you will have and give more of it.
You do understand that joy is something you carry with you. You don't find it. You have it. Now you won't block the joy that is already yours. From now on, heretofore, you will give yourself permission to be joyous.
This is cause for celebration.
All this time you thought joy came from outside you. Not only did you think that joy came from the outside, you felt that the outside and all the people in it were obligated to give you joy. They were responsible for your joy, and they often did not perform properly; they often failed to fulfill the responsibility you thought was theirs.
In your enjoyment of yesterday, what you really did was let go of that expectation that others are supposed to fill your needs. And what happened was that you had more awareness of filling other people's hearts. This was not the same as your overextending yourself to others at your own expense. This was more looking to create joy for yourself, and in that process, inevitably looking for joy for others as well. You did only as you wanted. You said what you wanted. You engaged yourself without involvement. You engaged yourself in joy and not in needs, yours or others'.
Yes, you have had a hard taskmaster within you. Its name is ego. Gloria has to be this and that. She has to be the best.
And yesterday you learned how to be Gloria, un-anything. Just Gloria. Pure Gloria.
I want you to know that you gave a lot of joy yesterday. You did My work well. You were not aware of that, and that is just right. When you consciously think of doing My work, you become performance-oriented rather than joy-oriented. You give yourself a report-card. You make standards for yourself and try to reach them.
To be joy-oriented does not mean you forget about Me. No, not at all. You take Me with you during your day, and you show Me a good time. In so doing, you fulfill My Will. You do not fulfill My Will by deliberately fulfilling My Will. Do you understand what I am saying?
Your task yesterday — and from now on — is to have joy. You set your course for joy. Joy is your byword from now on. You will be bringing joy to yourself. Effortless joy allowed by your intention. Your focus will be on joy, not duty, not effort, not achievement. And so you will attract joy. The name of the soup you make from now on is joy, nothing else. Not rules. Not success. Not performance. Simple joy. Joy in serving Me through honorship of yourself.
Courting joy is not a selfish act. Selfish is not joyful. Nor is unselfish joyful. Neither one is joyful. Joy is joyful. I, God, seek joy. Your joy is My fulfillment.
For example, you find joy in writing My words. You don't write My words to accomplish or prove anything. You don't Godwrite to look good or be good or be anything or do anything but splash in My joy. Splash in My joy, and you splash My joy on others. Immerse yourself in My joy. All joy is Mine. Splash, splash My joy.
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Margaret R. to Heavenletters:
Dear Gloria, Heavenletters is coming in loud and clear. Very nice. I'm looking forward to reading more.
It was such a pleasure to see you looking so well. Must be that God is taking very good care of you while you do His work.