Kerry to God:
Dear God, as You know, my husband and I are building a new house. This SHOULD be a very exciting time. I am struggling so hard, however, with the stuff I have accumulated over a lifetime. I hang on to things my children (and now my grandchildren) made in Kindergarten! I am overwhelmed attempting to pack and sort through all of these memories. I have boxes and boxes of photographs, for instance. I do talk to You and keep saying, "God, I know You are with me", and I do feel some relief. I am brought to tears so much during the day with the things I am packing away that touch my heart.
What feels so very strange to me, God, is the finality of something when I put it in a box. Intellectually, I know You are going to gently hammer me on all this material fussing about. And, I know that this stuff is just that, stuff. Still, I feel so anxious, and my ego is running amuck! I make myself so tired. Then the whole world looks bleak. Can you help me with this merry-go-round I am on?
I typed this letter just as it came out, with no editing. It is with a bit of trepidation that I turn it over to You. It seems as if I turn things over to You and then try to take them back!
I Love You.
God to Kerry:
My beloved Kerry, you have trepidation when you turn something over to me! Have trepidation when you do not.
Cry your tears, dear Kerry, and get them out. Do not mind letting go of the past with tears, even if the outward letting go is only in packing mementos in boxes.
You weep for the temporality of life in the world.
You weep for the lost youth and the dear little hands that made pictures. You weep that pictures and drawings do not restore those times. You weep that you cannot hold everything to you all at one time. You weep that memories fade like the papers in boxes. You weep to hold the memories and you weep to let them go.
You weep that someday you and all those that you love will also be put away in boxes, that all those present now on earth will no longer be present on earth, that none of this is forever. Only you and I are forever.
Kerry, you think your identity is tied up in these memories. You think it is your life and identity that you are packing away. Even though your mind knows that your identity is that you are My child, your aching heart still believes that your identity is with what is around you. The more that you pile up — you like to think — makes you more. It makes you more burdened.
Nothing makes you more than you already are.
Your identity is not in memories or photographs or in your thoughts.
You are not more nor less because of anything up to this very moment. Anything that has happened has nothing to do with you, dear Kerry.
A river passes before you. You cannot hold the river in place. The same water that flowed continues to flow. This is the stream of life. And it cannot be stemmed.
All of this life is illusion, Kerry. Moments cannot be held on to. Make way for this moment. Ego wants to glue you in place. The ego isn't much.
Beliefs are judgments. Ego makes judgments.
It is a belief that you are more worthy when you hold on to life experience rather than let it go. It is a belief that caring a lot makes you more worthy. It is a belief that pain of separation is your due, that it is a penalty you have to pay, that it is part and parcel of life. That My children think so, oh yes, they do, that is true. But the belief is not true. And ego does not want to be put aside.
What you pull out and pack away and pull out and pack away is energy, dear Kerry. You store portions of your love energy in boxes. Boxes filled with energy. Boxes moved from one house to another. Boxes of energy.
Perhaps the boxes are an attempt to pull the energy of sorrow out of your heart. Consider what you want to store in your heart and what you do not.
If human life on earth is temporary, let it be temporary.
Yes, I am with you as you pack and fret. Remember that I am with you and consult with Me. Listen to My voice.
A new house makes room for new energy. Do you need old energy? This is an inner choice We are speaking of. Do you want to keep carrying the past, or do you consider that maybe now you are free to let go of it?
Pioneers who traveled westward in America little by little let go of their possessions because they weighed too much and made the journey harder.
I am glad to hear back from you. Stay close to Me.
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Polly to Heavenletters:
I am fine with God's answer to me yesterday, September 10. I will write a note to my neighbor and let you know what happens. Thank you.
Kerry to Heavenletters:
I give thanks to God every day and night for his rich blessings in Heavenletters. You are doing wonderful God stuff to enrich so many lives! I am still composing my letter to Oprah.