Kathy to God:
Dear God, I have another issue to ask You about. It's really simple, not complicated.
I haven't gotten off to Spain yet because of one thing and another, and during this time my boyfriend and I became much closer. Even though we have become so close, he went off to West Coast in order to get out of here and make a life for himself. So he is there, and I am here, and I am going off to Spain probably in July.
He says he is madly in love with me and maybe wants to spend his life with me. He says I am the only person he would ever think of marrying, but he is someone who just can't go through a formal legal ceremony. I know he does need great freedom. Uranus is even sitting on his Sun, and that would make it hard for him to commit.
He is sincere, but is it wrong for me to want a legal marriage? Is a common-law marriage okay? The idea of it makes me nervous. But is that from my own insecurity? Is his not wanting to make his commitment official a warning sign that something is off? Does it mean he has trouble in making long-term committed relationships?
I ask my question about men in general and about Gregory in particular because he is such a unique person.
Will you please help me know what's right here, dear God?
God to Kathy:
My dear beautiful Kathy, none of this is a question of right or wrong. It is a question of truth. What is the truth here?
You have a tendency to live life in a whirlwind of indecision, to be in a situation where you don't need to hop on or hop off, in a situation that justifies your hovering. We have talked about this before.
Let's look at your situation more objectively, dear one. Apparently, you would like to marry this man but you want total commitment, and he does not.
Kathy, a marriage ceremony doesn't create what is not there. A ceremony doesn't create commitment. Ceremony or not, where is there security for you here? He maybe would like to spend the rest of his life with you. If he would marry anyone, he says it would be you, but he doesn't want to legally marry anyone. And, meanwhile, he leaves you and moves to another state.
Don't be so accommodating, dear Kathy. What do you owe him? What does he owe you? Nothing. No one owes anyone anything, no matter what is said.
Do you remember when your former boyfriend Frederick left town abruptly, you wanted to go where he was? That would have been chasing. Better to let a man chase you. You are worth gold, Kathy.
Let this man now go where you are.
Let him follow you to Spain.
If he does not, what have you lost?
Life-long commitment is hard for everyone.
There is no blame here for this man. He can do what he wants. He can have all the advantage he wants, and give none, if he chooses. And if you are willing to accept that, why shouldn't he?
Kathy, this question is not truly about your relationship with this man. It is about you and your sense of self-worth. You have so much to offer to the world, let alone a man, and you divvy your life into agitating about one man or another.
A man does not make your worth.
Your worth is mighty, and it is indelible.
What if you decided you were worth a lot? Would you attend so much to where a man is and what he says? Would you not give more attention to what I ask of you? When are you going to pay attention to Me, not only in words and understanding, but in action. How long do I have to wait for you to make up your mind?
Kathy, you are someone who needs to get into action.
It is time for you to take a stand in life.
This means for you to know who you are and what you are doing.
If you still wish to go to Spain, go there.
If you don't, stop hedging.
Let life unfold for you.
In your stewing about this man or that, you are controlling your life. Your indecision is a way to control. You chew your life on one side of your mouth and then on the other when it has long been time for you to swallow.
Jesus told a man who could not walk to get up and walk.
I am telling you the same.
I am telling you to stop hesitating and to move on.
Leave your bed. Leave the fainting couch of your life.
Go left or go right, but go.